USMB Coffee Shop IV

[Big Black Dog]

Hope everybody is having a fine day. Don't forget to take an afternoon coffee break.

 

[007]

Hope everybody is having a fine day. Don't forget to take an afternoon coffee break.

Just sick of cold, overcast and snow at this point, and stuck inside.

That is my official bitch as the Vice President of the Bitch About The Weather club.

 

[PoliticalChic]

Good morning everybody. Cooler and overcast this morning--low 30's--but the forecast is dry - dry - dry. They probably are getting a dusting on the mountain but nothing significant. Looks like everything in the mid section of the country from Arkansas east to the coast will be getting the worst of it today.

I'm feeling quite a bit better but not 100%. Have a meeting at 11 that won't take long. We got everything tidied up for the housecleaning crew who will arrive in an hour or so. Coffee is good this morning. Hope everybody is having a good Monday and will have a good week.

Thanks Foxy, and may your day go well, also. The last two days have been a whirlwind of fun and excitement for us. The weather was in the 70's and fun was had by all. This week's weather expected to be in the high 60's and sunny, too. Very uncommon for this time of year, but it seems when storms hit in the opposite end of the map, we have to have spring-like weather year-round much to my dismay for I love our marine climate and miss it. This is the second winter out of two, we have had spring-like weather and trees blooming beautiful pink blossoms while others become even more green and filled-in, in February.

I miss the soft rain and beautiful mist that hangs in the forest right outside my windows. Oh well, such a small deal, really and I shall not complain, considering.

Five degrees this morn.

Wanna swap?

Hey PC!!!! Always pleased when you stop by. But no, I don't wanna swap. I've lived in country when the temp finally made it up to zero for the first time in a week, we thought we were having a heat wave. I don't adjust to that as easily these days as I used to.

It was so cold this morn, I saw a man combing his hair and the teeth on the comb were chattering.

 

[PoliticalChic]

Good morning everybody. Cooler and overcast this morning--low 30's--but the forecast is dry - dry - dry. They probably are getting a dusting on the mountain but nothing significant. Looks like everything in the mid section of the country from Arkansas east to the coast will be getting the worst of it today.

I'm feeling quite a bit better but not 100%. Have a meeting at 11 that won't take long. We got everything tidied up for the housecleaning crew who will arrive in an hour or so. Coffee is good this morning. Hope everybody is having a good Monday and will have a good week.

Thanks Foxy, and may your day go well, also. The last two days have been a whirlwind of fun and excitement for us. The weather was in the 70's and fun was had by all. This week's weather expected to be in the high 60's and sunny, too. Very uncommon for this time of year, but it seems when storms hit in the opposite end of the map, we have to have spring-like weather year-round much to my dismay for I love our marine climate and miss it. This is the second winter out of two, we have had spring-like weather and trees blooming beautiful pink blossoms while others become even more green and filled-in, in February.

I miss the soft rain and beautiful mist that hangs in the forest right outside my windows. Oh well, such a small deal, really and I shall not complain, considering.

Five degrees this morn.

Wanna swap?

Hey PC!!!! Always pleased when you stop by. But no, I don't wanna swap. I've lived in country when the temp finally made it up to zero for the first time in a week, we thought we were having a heat wave. I don't adjust to that as easily these days as I used to.

It was so cold this morn, I saw a man combing his hair and the teeth on the comb were chattering.

So cold.....Obama was burning effigies of himself.

 

[Montrovant]

Ugh, it looks as though our external hard drive is dying. I've been able to pull some of the stuff off it (it will connect at times, but is inconsistent) but it has more on it than I have free space on my pc's. I tried pulling it from the enclosure and plugging it into my pc, just to test if it might be a problem with the enclosure rather than the drive itself, but my pc wouldn't boot with it plugged in. I wasn't trying to boot to the external drive, just have it plugged in to look at the files while running through my normal drive. I got an error message about 4th master drive or something, so annoying.

I wonder if I should just buy a new internal HD and plug it into this enclosure? Maybe that's a cheaper alternative. I hate when HDs die!

Download and burn a bootable (ISO) copy of Mac Pup Linux (it runs on RAM), make sure your computer is set to boot from the optical drive first and your external is connected then boot with Mac Pup in the drive. When it's running it should see the external and what's on it, you can then pull as much off that HD as hasn't been corrupted and lost. Have a bunch of thumb drives ready.

I'll give it a shot when I've got a new storage device available, thanks.

Although I must admit to having no idea at all what Macpup does that allows it to boot with the external plugged in.

It doesn't need a hard drive, like the ancient DOS it runs off the disc media it's on using the system RAM. It doesn't matter what operating system is on your hard drive it can see all the files under Windows or Mac that are stored on the hard drive and allow the user to move those files to another storage device.

Maybe what I really don't understand is why my usual HD won't boot when I plug in the wonky external. I get that it's dying, but why not just boot up the pc as usual and just not give me access to the external? I wouldn't think having a second HD go bad would prevent you from booting your main HD.....but apparently, I don't know what I'm talking about.

I'll see about getting a new drive sometime soon and have already downloaded the Macpup ISO in case I need it.

It's looking at your backup HD for the operating system, since it's not there it just stops looking. It's probably a setting in the BIOs (Boot sequencer) where you have to go to make it look in your CD/DVD (optical drive) first. Seems strange that it would look on your backup HD for an operating system first unless the backup HD is telling the computer to look there.

My bios is set to boot off the dvd first, then my main HD, followed by the backup HD. I unplugged the backup HD and replaced it with the external, and while I could still access my bios, I couldn't boot the main HD. I certainly didn't have it set to look at the backup HD first to boot up.

I did notice that when I had the external in the enclosure and plugged it in through the USB, it will sometimes cause freezing on the PC. I don't know if that's directly related or if my bios just won't boot up if any HD connected is bunk.

 

[Ringel05]

Just made chicken with a mustard cream sauce. First time doing this recipe, it's rich and delicious.

 

[ChrisL]

Download and burn a bootable (ISO) copy of Mac Pup Linux (it runs on RAM), make sure your computer is set to boot from the optical drive first and your external is connected then boot with Mac Pup in the drive. When it's running it should see the external and what's on it, you can then pull as much off that HD as hasn't been corrupted and lost. Have a bunch of thumb drives ready.

I'll give it a shot when I've got a new storage device available, thanks.

Although I must admit to having no idea at all what Macpup does that allows it to boot with the external plugged in.

It doesn't need a hard drive, like the ancient DOS it runs off the disc media it's on using the system RAM. It doesn't matter what operating system is on your hard drive it can see all the files under Windows or Mac that are stored on the hard drive and allow the user to move those files to another storage device.

Maybe what I really don't understand is why my usual HD won't boot when I plug in the wonky external. I get that it's dying, but why not just boot up the pc as usual and just not give me access to the external? I wouldn't think having a second HD go bad would prevent you from booting your main HD.....but apparently, I don't know what I'm talking about.

I'll see about getting a new drive sometime soon and have already downloaded the Macpup ISO in case I need it.

It's looking at your backup HD for the operating system, since it's not there it just stops looking. It's probably a setting in the BIOs (Boot sequencer) where you have to go to make it look in your CD/DVD (optical drive) first. Seems strange that it would look on your backup HD for an operating system first unless the backup HD is telling the computer to look there.

My bios is set to boot off the dvd first, then my main HD, followed by the backup HD. I unplugged the backup HD and replaced it with the external, and while I could still access my bios, I couldn't boot the main HD. I certainly didn't have it set to look at the backup HD first to boot up.

I did notice that when I had the external in the enclosure and plugged it in through the USB, it will sometimes cause freezing on the PC. I don't know if that's directly related or if my bios just won't boot up if any HD connected is bunk.

I have no idea what any of that means. I feel like "derrrrp."

 

[ChrisL]

Hope everybody is having a fine day. Don't forget to take an afternoon coffee break.

Just sick of cold, overcast and snow at this point, and stuck inside.

That is my official bitch as the Vice President of the Bitch About The Weather club.

Oh, that's right, YOU are 007, Bond, James Bond.

 

[Ringel05]

Download and burn a bootable (ISO) copy of Mac Pup Linux (it runs on RAM), make sure your computer is set to boot from the optical drive first and your external is connected then boot with Mac Pup in the drive. When it's running it should see the external and what's on it, you can then pull as much off that HD as hasn't been corrupted and lost. Have a bunch of thumb drives ready.

I'll give it a shot when I've got a new storage device available, thanks.

Although I must admit to having no idea at all what Macpup does that allows it to boot with the external plugged in.

It doesn't need a hard drive, like the ancient DOS it runs off the disc media it's on using the system RAM. It doesn't matter what operating system is on your hard drive it can see all the files under Windows or Mac that are stored on the hard drive and allow the user to move those files to another storage device.

Maybe what I really don't understand is why my usual HD won't boot when I plug in the wonky external. I get that it's dying, but why not just boot up the pc as usual and just not give me access to the external? I wouldn't think having a second HD go bad would prevent you from booting your main HD.....but apparently, I don't know what I'm talking about.

I'll see about getting a new drive sometime soon and have already downloaded the Macpup ISO in case I need it.

It's looking at your backup HD for the operating system, since it's not there it just stops looking. It's probably a setting in the BIOs (Boot sequencer) where you have to go to make it look in your CD/DVD (optical drive) first. Seems strange that it would look on your backup HD for an operating system first unless the backup HD is telling the computer to look there.

My bios is set to boot off the dvd first, then my main HD, followed by the backup HD. I unplugged the backup HD and replaced it with the external, and while I could still access my bios, I couldn't boot the main HD. I certainly didn't have it set to look at the backup HD first to boot up.

I did notice that when I had the external in the enclosure and plugged it in through the USB, it will sometimes cause freezing on the PC. I don't know if that's directly related or if my bios just won't boot up if any HD connected is bunk.

Could be a "protective" response to a bad HD or a simple read conflict.
Also just thought of a couple of other things, could be a serious increase in power usage when both HDs are hooked up, check your CPU fan, make sure there's not a dust build up between it and the heat sink. If there is vacuum it out (with the computer off) then see if that helps. Also try a different USB cable to rule out the possibility the cable is bad plus try a different USB port on the desktop to make sure the USB port you're using hasn't kicked the bucket.

 

[Foxfyre]

Good morning everybody. Cooler and overcast this morning--low 30's--but the forecast is dry - dry - dry. They probably are getting a dusting on the mountain but nothing significant. Looks like everything in the mid section of the country from Arkansas east to the coast will be getting the worst of it today.

I'm feeling quite a bit better but not 100%. Have a meeting at 11 that won't take long. We got everything tidied up for the housecleaning crew who will arrive in an hour or so. Coffee is good this morning. Hope everybody is having a good Monday and will have a good week.

Thanks Foxy, and may your day go well, also. The last two days have been a whirlwind of fun and excitement for us. The weather was in the 70's and fun was had by all. This week's weather expected to be in the high 60's and sunny, too. Very uncommon for this time of year, but it seems when storms hit in the opposite end of the map, we have to have spring-like weather year-round much to my dismay for I love our marine climate and miss it. This is the second winter out of two, we have had spring-like weather and trees blooming beautiful pink blossoms while others become even more green and filled-in, in February.

I miss the soft rain and beautiful mist that hangs in the forest right outside my windows. Oh well, such a small deal, really and I shall not complain, considering.

Five degrees this morn.

Wanna swap?

Hey PC!!!! Always pleased when you stop by. But no, I don't wanna swap. I've lived in country when the temp finally made it up to zero for the first time in a week, we thought we were having a heat wave. I don't adjust to that as easily these days as I used to.

It was so cold this morn, I saw a man combing his hair and the teeth on the comb were chattering.

So cold.....Obama was burning effigies of himself.

Just a quick Mama Fox ((hug)) and a wee bit of cautionary reminder that we don't bring politics or religious theology into the Coffee Shop. It's funny but we might have Coffee Shoppers who might think that too political and would bristle a bit at that.

 

[Sherry]

 

[Montrovant]

I'll give it a shot when I've got a new storage device available, thanks.

Although I must admit to having no idea at all what Macpup does that allows it to boot with the external plugged in.

It doesn't need a hard drive, like the ancient DOS it runs off the disc media it's on using the system RAM. It doesn't matter what operating system is on your hard drive it can see all the files under Windows or Mac that are stored on the hard drive and allow the user to move those files to another storage device.

Maybe what I really don't understand is why my usual HD won't boot when I plug in the wonky external. I get that it's dying, but why not just boot up the pc as usual and just not give me access to the external? I wouldn't think having a second HD go bad would prevent you from booting your main HD.....but apparently, I don't know what I'm talking about.

I'll see about getting a new drive sometime soon and have already downloaded the Macpup ISO in case I need it.

It's looking at your backup HD for the operating system, since it's not there it just stops looking. It's probably a setting in the BIOs (Boot sequencer) where you have to go to make it look in your CD/DVD (optical drive) first. Seems strange that it would look on your backup HD for an operating system first unless the backup HD is telling the computer to look there.

My bios is set to boot off the dvd first, then my main HD, followed by the backup HD. I unplugged the backup HD and replaced it with the external, and while I could still access my bios, I couldn't boot the main HD. I certainly didn't have it set to look at the backup HD first to boot up.

I did notice that when I had the external in the enclosure and plugged it in through the USB, it will sometimes cause freezing on the PC. I don't know if that's directly related or if my bios just won't boot up if any HD connected is bunk.

Could be a "protective" response to a bad HD or a simple read conflict.
Also just thought of a couple of other things, could be a serious increase in power usage when both HDs are hooked up, check your CPU fan, make sure there's not a dust build up between it and the heat sink. If there is vacuum it out (with the computer off) then see if that helps. Also try a different USB cable to rule out the possibility the cable is bad plus try a different USB port on the desktop to make sure the USB port you're using hasn't kicked the bucket.

Heh, way ahead of you! I have plugged the external into multiple ports and multiple PCs, not to mention the PS3. I also did some dust vacuuming while I had my PC open. We bought a new USB cable as the first attempt at fixing the problem, but it looks like the drive is just worn out.

 

[Ringel05]

It doesn't need a hard drive, like the ancient DOS it runs off the disc media it's on using the system RAM. It doesn't matter what operating system is on your hard drive it can see all the files under Windows or Mac that are stored on the hard drive and allow the user to move those files to another storage device.

Maybe what I really don't understand is why my usual HD won't boot when I plug in the wonky external. I get that it's dying, but why not just boot up the pc as usual and just not give me access to the external? I wouldn't think having a second HD go bad would prevent you from booting your main HD.....but apparently, I don't know what I'm talking about.

I'll see about getting a new drive sometime soon and have already downloaded the Macpup ISO in case I need it.

It's looking at your backup HD for the operating system, since it's not there it just stops looking. It's probably a setting in the BIOs (Boot sequencer) where you have to go to make it look in your CD/DVD (optical drive) first. Seems strange that it would look on your backup HD for an operating system first unless the backup HD is telling the computer to look there.

My bios is set to boot off the dvd first, then my main HD, followed by the backup HD. I unplugged the backup HD and replaced it with the external, and while I could still access my bios, I couldn't boot the main HD. I certainly didn't have it set to look at the backup HD first to boot up.

I did notice that when I had the external in the enclosure and plugged it in through the USB, it will sometimes cause freezing on the PC. I don't know if that's directly related or if my bios just won't boot up if any HD connected is bunk.

Could be a "protective" response to a bad HD or a simple read conflict.
Also just thought of a couple of other things, could be a serious increase in power usage when both HDs are hooked up, check your CPU fan, make sure there's not a dust build up between it and the heat sink. If there is vacuum it out (with the computer off) then see if that helps. Also try a different USB cable to rule out the possibility the cable is bad plus try a different USB port on the desktop to make sure the USB port you're using hasn't kicked the bucket.

Heh, way ahead of you! I have plugged the external into multiple ports and multiple PCs, not to mention the PS3. I also did some dust vacuuming while I had my PC open. We bought a new USB cable as the first attempt at fixing the problem, but it looks like the drive is just worn out.

Yup. The best thing you can do now is try to save as much off of it as you can. I had two external HDs go bad on me before. The higher capacity ones go bad faster, the 60 to 80 Gb ones last almost forever, also the higher the speed the faster it will wear out. If you're determined to store your files on an external HD I'd seriously recommend a solid state drive, no moving parts to go bad, yeah they're more expensive and don't have the capacity a standard drive has but you could always have more than one and compress your files.

 

[gallantwarrior]

First, the weather: it's 45 degrees here, trying to rain, too! We still have no significant snowfall, 6-8 inches, at best, a little more up at the country place (10-14" there). My partner had the truck washed yesterday. What a waste of money! It stayed clean for two blocks, maybe. With temps above freezing to the past two days, the roads are a mucky mess.
My "foster children" arrived yesterday. They seem like nice young people and were happy to have the help at the airport. They took a rain check for dinner, preferring to get checked into their temporary lodging and letting their dogs settle down a bit. The young lady observed how much my daughter resembles me in looks and mannerisms. My poor daughter!
I've been nursing some nasty cuts on both hands the past few days. Sherman, the terrorist cat, pulled one of his table-top skids, knocking a cup of coffee to the floor. I made an attempt to catch it before it fell, over-balanced, and landed hands first among the shards of cup and the pool of coffee. Although I bandaged the cuts, two particularly bad ones bled for almost two days! I woke up from my nap that evening with both hands caked in blood. I'm about ready to skin that cat, he's such a troublemaker.
Guess I'd better quit goofing off and finish grading papers. I have most of the assignments graded and ready to return to my students. I fully expect my "challenger" to quibble about his test grade, it's the nature of this particular beast, certainly.
Spaeter, CS fellow travelers!

GW, get thee to the emergency room or urgent care and have those cuts professionally taken care of. You might need a stitch or two but certainly need a professional to make sure you don't have any glass shards in the wounds and to ensure you don't get an infection that you can't take care of yourself.

Thank you for your concern and suggestions, Foxy. I'm a quick healer and these are healing nicely. I usually apply a poultice of plantain leaves or calendula, or I have both Balm of Gilead and balsam fir salves on hand, too. But my blood pressure meds thin the blood, making for profuse bleeding for the least injury.

 

[gallantwarrior]

[raising hand] Permission to vent?
How many of you have had to deal with a passive-aggressive control personality. For almost 12 years now, I've been dealing with my partner, whom I have mentioned at times. Well, he's P-A, and a massive hoarder! I deal with the unpleasantness mostly by complying with the "rules". One of his rules is: unless he's selected the DVD, the TV is not permitted to be on. He finds it impossible to focus on anything else while the TV is running. Hence, whenever he comes into the house, I hit the pause button or turn it off. But before he comes in and settles down, he has to come in-and-out a dozen times, for assorted reasons. Each time, the TV has to be silenced or I get snapped at. I confess, this sometimes rubs me the wrong way. This evening, I made a comment about feeling like a trained seal. He starts packing his kit and sulking. He's going to go back to his place, since I'm such a nasty piece of work, always making stupid comments.
So, I've violated another rule, to never make a comment when I'm aggravated about something he's done/doing. He cannot be criticized.
Now we go to act three: I usually try to cajole him and persuade him to stay here. (He's usually had a few beers by this time and should refrain from driving.) This time, I forwent act three and just let him go, not following him out to the truck, arguing and begging he not drive.
While never openly, physically violent, his behavior is distinctly unpleasant and psychologically violent if the rules are violated. It is easier to just shut up and behave than to oppose him. On some level, I know that one of the (lesser) reasons I will be moving to live closer to my daughter and her family is that I hope to dishearten him and perhaps he'll toss in the towel.
OK, well...thanks for "listening". Venting is therapeutic.

 

[Montrovant]

Maybe what I really don't understand is why my usual HD won't boot when I plug in the wonky external. I get that it's dying, but why not just boot up the pc as usual and just not give me access to the external? I wouldn't think having a second HD go bad would prevent you from booting your main HD.....but apparently, I don't know what I'm talking about.

I'll see about getting a new drive sometime soon and have already downloaded the Macpup ISO in case I need it.

It's looking at your backup HD for the operating system, since it's not there it just stops looking. It's probably a setting in the BIOs (Boot sequencer) where you have to go to make it look in your CD/DVD (optical drive) first. Seems strange that it would look on your backup HD for an operating system first unless the backup HD is telling the computer to look there.

My bios is set to boot off the dvd first, then my main HD, followed by the backup HD. I unplugged the backup HD and replaced it with the external, and while I could still access my bios, I couldn't boot the main HD. I certainly didn't have it set to look at the backup HD first to boot up.

I did notice that when I had the external in the enclosure and plugged it in through the USB, it will sometimes cause freezing on the PC. I don't know if that's directly related or if my bios just won't boot up if any HD connected is bunk.

Could be a "protective" response to a bad HD or a simple read conflict.
Also just thought of a couple of other things, could be a serious increase in power usage when both HDs are hooked up, check your CPU fan, make sure there's not a dust build up between it and the heat sink. If there is vacuum it out (with the computer off) then see if that helps. Also try a different USB cable to rule out the possibility the cable is bad plus try a different USB port on the desktop to make sure the USB port you're using hasn't kicked the bucket.

Heh, way ahead of you! I have plugged the external into multiple ports and multiple PCs, not to mention the PS3. I also did some dust vacuuming while I had my PC open. We bought a new USB cable as the first attempt at fixing the problem, but it looks like the drive is just worn out.

Yup. The best thing you can do now is try to save as much off of it as you can. I had two external HDs go bad on me before. The higher capacity ones go bad faster, the 60 to 80 Gb ones last almost forever, also the higher the speed the faster it will wear out. If you're determined to store your files on an external HD I'd seriously recommend a solid state drive, no moving parts to go bad, yeah they're more expensive and don't have the capacity a standard drive has but you could always have more than one and compress your files.

Unfortunately storage capacity is a big issue. I've got a TON of stuff saved and I think it might be cost prohibitive to go with SSDs at this point. It's been a while since I've looked at prices but I know I can get a SATA desktop 1TB HD for $50-60 and put it in the enclosure of the current external.

This is the first external I've used, and we've had it for something like 4 years. It has gotten a lot of use, so I'm not too upset as far as that goes.....it's just always annoying when a HD dies, and unlike in the past, I don't have a spare sitting around I can replace it with.

 

[Foxfyre]

[raising hand] Permission to vent?
How many of you have had to deal with a passive-aggressive control personality. For almost 12 years now, I've been dealing with my partner, whom I have mentioned at times. Well, he's P-A, and a massive hoarder! I deal with the unpleasantness mostly by complying with the "rules". One of his rules is: unless he's selected the DVD, the TV is not permitted to be on. He finds it impossible to focus on anything else while the TV is running. Hence, whenever he comes into the house, I hit the pause button or turn it off. But before he comes in and settles down, he has to come in-and-out a dozen times, for assorted reasons. Each time, the TV has to be silenced or I get snapped at. I confess, this sometimes rubs me the wrong way. This evening, I made a comment about feeling like a trained seal. He starts packing his kit and sulking. He's going to go back to his place, since I'm such a nasty piece of work, always making stupid comments.
So, I've violated another rule, to never make a comment when I'm aggravated about something he's done/doing. He cannot be criticized.
Now we go to act three: I usually try to cajole him and persuade him to stay here. (He's usually had a few beers by this time and should refrain from driving.) This time, I forwent act three and just let him go, not following him out to the truck, arguing and begging he not drive.
While never openly, physically violent, his behavior is distinctly unpleasant and psychologically violent if the rules are violated. It is easier to just shut up and behave than to oppose him. On some level, I know that one of the (lesser) reasons I will be moving to live closer to my daughter and her family is that I hope to dishearten him and perhaps he'll toss in the towel.
OK, well...thanks for "listening". Venting is therapeutic.

I've dealt with people like that yes, and know a few on line like that. But I've never had to live with one. And I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be as calm or accommodating as you are if I did.

 

[gallantwarrior]

[raising hand] Permission to vent?
How many of you have had to deal with a passive-aggressive control personality. For almost 12 years now, I've been dealing with my partner, whom I have mentioned at times. Well, he's P-A, and a massive hoarder! I deal with the unpleasantness mostly by complying with the "rules". One of his rules is: unless he's selected the DVD, the TV is not permitted to be on. He finds it impossible to focus on anything else while the TV is running. Hence, whenever he comes into the house, I hit the pause button or turn it off. But before he comes in and settles down, he has to come in-and-out a dozen times, for assorted reasons. Each time, the TV has to be silenced or I get snapped at. I confess, this sometimes rubs me the wrong way. This evening, I made a comment about feeling like a trained seal. He starts packing his kit and sulking. He's going to go back to his place, since I'm such a nasty piece of work, always making stupid comments.
So, I've violated another rule, to never make a comment when I'm aggravated about something he's done/doing. He cannot be criticized.
Now we go to act three: I usually try to cajole him and persuade him to stay here. (He's usually had a few beers by this time and should refrain from driving.) This time, I forwent act three and just let him go, not following him out to the truck, arguing and begging he not drive.
While never openly, physically violent, his behavior is distinctly unpleasant and psychologically violent if the rules are violated. It is easier to just shut up and behave than to oppose him. On some level, I know that one of the (lesser) reasons I will be moving to live closer to my daughter and her family is that I hope to dishearten him and perhaps he'll toss in the towel.
OK, well...thanks for "listening". Venting is therapeutic.

I've dealt with people like that yes, and know a few on line like that. But I've never had to live with one. And I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be as calm or accommodating as you are if I did.

Funny thing, my best buddy, with whom I still dine almost every Sunday, stayed married to his ex for 33 years before he finally called it quits. Fool or hero, I'm not sure. Folks like my partner and my buddy's ex-wife never really do anything overtly identifiable as abuse, but they are abusive and manipulative. My partner and I work for the same company and very few of our co-workers would believe me if I told them how he really is. Hell, I was roped in by his affable personal presentation. The demons don't show up until he's sure you're trapped.

 

[saveliberty]

Sorry to hear about your situation GW. Long standing problems require an enabler. Some of us are pretty good enablers.

 

[Foxfyre]

So good morning everybody. Hombre is still under the weather--he hasn't had this long a siege of cold or flu or whatever he has for a long time, but he really has it. Unfortunately I only have Alkaseltzer cold and the pain reliever in that is aspirin which he isn't supposed to take because of his gout. So off to the pharmacy for a different cold med shortly.