7 Ways For Christians To Prepare For Pride Month

[Votto]

7 Ways For Christians To Prepare For Pride Month
SPONSORED·May 28, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

It's almost that time of year again, when corporations suddenly bathe themselves in rainbow colors overnight and vast mobs of drag queens roam the streets. With such troubling sights on the way, it can be challenging for Christians to know how to get ready.

The Babylon Bee has come up with the following list of ways Christians can prepare themselves for Pride Month:

1. Gouge out your eyes with a fork: Some may think this a little extreme, but if you've ever seen clips of a Pride parade, this seems like a no-brainer.
2. Retreat to your underground bunker until July 1: Wait, you don't have an underground bunker?
3. Cancel your Planet Fitness membership: Take a month off from working out and seeing 6'7" bearded women named Jeff in the sauna.
4. Put up signs for a new Subaru dealership with arrows pointing out of town: The gays will follow the signs out of town like an irresistible pied piper.
5. Get your Lasik reversed: No confirmation if this is even possible, but at least ask an eye doctor to try.
6. Hold a Chuck Norris movie marathon: The ripple effect of the raw, heterosexual masculinity reverberating from your TV will singlehandedly reverse all Pride Month effects.
7. Move to Florida: We heard Pride Month is totally illegal there.

By following even a few of the tips listed above, you can take the proper precautions to protect yourself from the annual Pride Month onslaught.

 

[Mikeoxenormous]

7 Ways For Christians To Prepare For Pride Month
SPONSORED·May 28, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

View attachment 953297

It's almost that time of year again, when corporations suddenly bathe themselves in rainbow colors overnight and vast mobs of drag queens roam the streets. With such troubling sights on the way, it can be challenging for Christians to know how to get ready.

The Babylon Bee has come up with the following list of ways Christians can prepare themselves for Pride Month:

1. Gouge out your eyes with a fork: Some may think this a little extreme, but if you've ever seen clips of a Pride parade, this seems like a no-brainer.
2. Retreat to your underground bunker until July 1: Wait, you don't have an underground bunker?
3. Cancel your Planet Fitness membership: Take a month off from working out and seeing 6'7" bearded women named Jeff in the sauna.
4. Put up signs for a new Subaru dealership with arrows pointing out of town: The gays will follow the signs out of town like an irresistible pied piper.
5. Get your Lasik reversed: No confirmation if this is even possible, but at least ask an eye doctor to try.
6. Hold a Chuck Norris movie marathon: The ripple effect of the raw, heterosexual masculinity reverberating from your TV will singlehandedly reverse all Pride Month effects.
7. Move to Florida: We heard Pride Month is totally illegal there.

By following even a few of the tips listed above, you can take the proper precautions to protect yourself from the annual Pride Month onslaught.

Where one of these in the LGBTQWXYZ&1234 crowd.

 

[OhPleaseJustQuit]

7 Ways For Christians To Prepare For Pride Month
SPONSORED·May 28, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

View attachment 953297

It's almost that time of year again, when corporations suddenly bathe themselves in rainbow colors overnight and vast mobs of drag queens roam the streets. With such troubling sights on the way, it can be challenging for Christians to know how to get ready.

The Babylon Bee has come up with the following list of ways Christians can prepare themselves for Pride Month:

1. Gouge out your eyes with a fork: Some may think this a little extreme, but if you've ever seen clips of a Pride parade, this seems like a no-brainer.
2. Retreat to your underground bunker until July 1: Wait, you don't have an underground bunker?
3. Cancel your Planet Fitness membership: Take a month off from working out and seeing 6'7" bearded women named Jeff in the sauna.
4. Put up signs for a new Subaru dealership with arrows pointing out of town: The gays will follow the signs out of town like an irresistible pied piper.
5. Get your Lasik reversed: No confirmation if this is even possible, but at least ask an eye doctor to try.
6. Hold a Chuck Norris movie marathon: The ripple effect of the raw, heterosexual masculinity reverberating from your TV will singlehandedly reverse all Pride Month effects.
7. Move to Florida: We heard Pride Month is totally illegal there.

By following even a few of the tips listed above, you can take the proper precautions to protect yourself from the annual Pride Month onslaught.

.

I will switch where I do my grocery shopping. The easiest shopping option slaps a big wrong rainbow flag up right inside the entrance, so I just drive a few extra miles and avoid the pandering.

.

 

[jotathought]

Yes .. the LGBT alphabet, that no one can fully define .. is awesome! Go alphabet group!

 

[Oddball]

 

[TroglocratsRdumb]

 

[Votto]

Yes .. the LGBT alphabet, that no one can fully define .. is awesome! Go alphabet group!

I'm wondering, did Hamas get added to the alphabet perverts?

It seems like they have.

Is it LGTBH now?

 

[jotathought]

I'm wondering, did Hamas get added to the alphabet perverts?

It seems like they have.

Is it LGTBH now?

If L = Lesbian, G = Gay and B = Bi-sexual .. doesn't this conflict with the T .. which includes a spectrum of identities that is more than 2 (bi)?

 

[Votto]

If L = Lesbian, G = Gay and B = Bi-sexual .. doesn't this conflict with the T .. which includes a spectrum of identities that is more than 2 (bi)?

All I know is, they need a vowel in there somewhere or it's not a real word.

 

[jotathought]

All I know is, they need a vowel in there somewhere or it's not a real word.

Yeah .. wouldn't do well on Wheel of Fortune

 

[HikerGuy83]

View attachment 953347

Yes, and listen to the pedo loving lefties try to defend it.

Crepitus "Isn't every month straight month". Clearly not.

Love the chance to tell that asshole he is a degenerate.

BTW: Is that picture on the right....him ?

 

[Oddball]

Yes, and listen to the pedo loving lefties try to defend it.

Crepitus "Isn't every month straight month". Clearly not.

Love the chance to tell that asshole he is a degenerate.

BTW: Is that picture on the right....him ?

 

[Crepitus]

@Crepitus "Isn't every month straight month". Clearly not.

Clearly it is.

 

[HikerGuy83]

Clearly it is.

What's very clear is that you are a moron.