Ask Joe (a new advice column just for USMB members)

[AVG-JOE]

Dear Joe,

will lots and lots of Monkeys fit into your house?

On a more or less permanent basis?

Two.
​

But we'll have room for friends, family and grandMonkeys to visit, and being half-way between Orlando and Miami, and 10 minutes from the beach, we're anticipating a certain amount of traffic.

 

[AVG-JOE]

Of course she does!

I'll be waiting for the invite....clothing optional?

But of course! Always!

 

[Sarah G]

Buying a house.

Found a nice one, too!

Congratulations. Downsizing now or did you go big?

 

[Sarah G]

Hey Joe, What should we e gift you with this year?

Dear Joe:
How do you position yourself on the issue of verbifying a noun?

Dear Joe, Why does Pogo criticize people like a little bitch all the time?

(I missed this one too)

 

[Pogo]

Hey Joe, What should we e gift you with this year?

Dear Joe:
How do you position yourself on the issue of verbifying a noun?

Dear Joe, Why does Pogo criticize people like a little bitch all the time?

(I missed this one too)

Dear Joe:

 

[Statistikhengst]

Hey Joe, What should we e gift you with this year?

Dear Joe:
How do you position yourself on the issue of verbifying a noun?

I adjectivify that.

 

[Vandalshandle]

Dear Joe,

I went to a lot of trouble this year picking out just the right Christmas present for my 66 year old girl friend. I bought her a Kawasaki Vulcan Classic 900 with hard Viking saddlebags, and a switchblade windshield. While I knew that she did not know how to drive a bike, I assumed that she would enthusiastically learn. To my surprise, she was not enthusiastic at all. In fact, she won't even sit on it. Naturally, I don't want a beautiful bike like this going to waste, so I ride it (just to keep the battery charged, you see). Now she is mad at me, and told me that I can cook my own dinners from now on.

What did I do wrong?

 

[Pogo]

Hey Joe, What should we e gift you with this year?

Dear Joe:
How do you position yourself on the issue of verbifying a noun?

I adjectivify that.

Kewl. I had to interrogatify it.

 

[koshergrl]

Buying a house.

Found a nice one, too!

Congrats!!

When's the housewarming?

He's busy working out the details of the fraud that will allow him to be a home owner.

 

[Luddly Neddite]

Dear Joe,

I'm new here ... I got lost so I called Triple AAA and they towed me here.

My question is - If you write "Triple AAA", do you actually have six A's?

What if you write "Triple A"?

uh-oh, that's two questions, isn't it?

Oh crud, That makes three questions. Or does it?

I'm up to four questions now. Is that allowed?

FIVE???

Or does that make SIX??

What should I do? d

CRAP - that makes SEVEN Questions.

How many questions do you ...

 

[Carla_Danger]

Dear Joe,

I went to a lot of trouble this year picking out just the right Christmas present for my 66 year old girl friend. I bought her a Kawasaki Vulcan Classic 900 with hard Viking saddlebags, and a switchblade windshield. While I knew that she did not know how to drive a bike, I assumed that she would enthusiastically learn. To my surprise, she was not enthusiastic at all. In fact, she won't even sit on it. Naturally, I don't want a beautiful bike like this going to waste, so I ride it (just to keep the battery charged, you see). Now she is mad at me, and told me that I can cook my own dinners from now on.

What did I do wrong?

You're lucky she didn't take it and sell it. LOL!

 

[Luddly Neddite]

Hey Joe, What should we e gift you with this year?

Dear Joe:
How do you position yourself on the issue of verbifying a noun?

Dear Joe,

Is it possible to nounify a verb?

Can you please give us examples, er, uh, I mean positions?

 

[Derideo_Te]

Hey Joe, What should we e gift you with this year?

Dear Joe:
How do you position yourself on the issue of verbifying a noun?

Dear Joe,

Is it possible to nounify a verb?

Can you please give us examples, er, uh, I mean positions?

Allow me to status you on this topic!

When you are jonesing for some java you can verbify to your hearts content unless someone tazes you.

Compredimontify?

 

[Vandalshandle]

Hey Joe, What should we e gift you with this year?

Dear Joe:
How do you position yourself on the issue of verbifying a noun?

Dear Joe,

Is it possible to nounify a verb?

Can you please give us examples, er, uh, I mean positions?

Allow me to status you on this topic!

When you are jonesing for some java you can verbify to your hearts content unless someone tazes you.

Compredimontify?

If you are going to talk dirty, I'm leaving!

 

[Statistikhengst]

Hey Joe, What should we e gift you with this year?

Dear Joe:
How do you position yourself on the issue of verbifying a noun?

I adjectivify that.

Kewl. I had to interrogatify it.

and afterward, I may pronomify it.

 

[Sarah G]

Okay, okay, I'm E-flipping all of you off right now..

 

[Luddly Neddite]

Hey Joe, What should we e gift you with this year?

Dear Joe:
How do you position yourself on the issue of verbifying a noun?

Dear Joe,

Is it possible to nounify a verb?

Can you please give us examples, er, uh, I mean positions?

Allow me to status you on this topic!

When you are jonesing for some java you can verbify to your hearts content unless someone tazes you.

Compredimontify?

If you are going to talk dirty, I'm leaving!

If he's talking dirty, I'm staying.

Don't worry though ... I'll take notes and PM you later.

 

[Luddly Neddite]

Hey Joe, What should we e gift you with this year?

Dear Joe:
How do you position yourself on the issue of verbifying a noun?

I adjectivify that.

Kewl. I had to interrogatify it.

and afterward, I may pronomify it.

Dear Joe,

pro-nom-ify

I'm sorry to interrogatify you but is it even possible to eat a pronoun?

If there's gonna be a test, will we have to diagram sentences? If so, I just want to adjectivify about that now.

P.S. Do I get a prize for using those "words" in sentences?
P.S.S. Do they still teach kids to diagram sentences?



"Each year we give our next-door neighbors some cookies".

In this sentence, neighbors is an indirect object. The indirect object is one kind of adverbial objective (a noun used as an adverb). Adverbial objectives can also express time, place, and manner, among other things (cf. year in the sentence on the left). When diagramming adverbial objectives, place nothing on the first slanted line.

 

[AVG-JOE]

Buying a house.

Found a nice one, too!

Congratulations. Downsizing now or did you go big?

We're upsizing down from 26 acres and 350 square feet, to barely enough to bother mowing and 1,200 square feet.

​

 

[AVG-JOE]

Hey Joe, What should we e gift you with this year?

Dear Joe:
How do you position yourself on the issue of verbifying a noun?

Dear Joe, Why does Pogo criticize people like a little bitch all the time?

(I missed this one too)

SOMEone gotta be Neubarthin'! Might as well be a kid who enjoys it, eh?