Momma Don't Let Your Babies Go To Law School

[boedicca]

I am so glad I got my MBA instead of going to law school.

This Craiglist Ad sums up what recent law school grads are going through as the oversupply of lawyers means declining job prospects and lower earning power (except for the Government Elite Serving Harvard-Yale cadre):

Can I get a fucking job already? (Chicago)

ME: I'm a machine, a Goddamn monster, bloodthirsty. Willing to work 180 hours a week on the stupidest, most pointless shit. Do you have pleadings that need just a little "tweaking" because, despite how you act around friends and co-workers, you're actually a shitty writer? Well, yes, I can re-write those and then eat shit while you take all the credit. Got a contract that you could really handle yourself, but you'd be happier tossing off some of the actual work to a shit eating loser? Yes, I can turn comments on those at 2 a.m. Got some documents that need review? I'm your fucking man. I'll do doc review until I'm blue in the face; I will sit there doing doc review until my prostate explodes. Why? BECAUSE I NEED A GODDAMN JOB. Don't get me wrong: I've given up hope of ever being successful. Law school destroyed me and destroyed my life. I'm fucked forever, I know that. But my girlfriend will leave me if I don't get a job fast and she's the only thing I've got going in the world. Seriously, I'll be out on the fucking street and I won't even care. I might go live in a box or get a canoe and go out into the ocean to die of exposure.

YOU: I don't give a fuck so long as you pay me. You can be a baby-eating republican or a flag-burning democrat. I don't care. John Edwards, I would LOVE to work for your new firm. You could even be doing some freaky Saul Goodman shit and I wouldn't care. Why? Because I've given up. I thought for a while that I could be an attorney and NOT be a shit bag, but I get it now that it's not possible. So take a look in the mirror and, if you see a fat, soulless, life sucking, miserable, cocksucker who is so miserable that you want to ruin someone else's life, send shitty emails and call in the middle of the night to complain about work that just has to be done in the morning, or to complain about how everything is wrong and awful and so I'll have to do it over and over, or even if you want to make fun of my sexuality/ethnicity/disability/face to make yourself feel better about your lost youth, then give me a call.

I can't wait to hear from you!

Can I get a fucking job already?

 

[chikenwing]

My younger sister is a lawyer,I bust her chops when ever I can.

 

[boedicca]

I've interviewed a lot of recent law school grads for entry level positions; and even had one working as a clerical temp last year. They are saddled with debt they will never be able to repay.

It's sad. They've been duped by Big Law, Big Education and Big Government into being Debt Slaves For Life.

 

[Sunshine]

I've interviewed a lot of recent law school grads for entry level positions; and even had one working as a clerical temp last year. They are saddled with debt they will never be able to repay.

It's sad. They've been duped by Big Law, Big Education and Big Government into being Debt Slaves For Life.

Most JDs never actually practice law. They are businessmen or medical people looking to be better at their current job. Generalists are definitely having a tough go. But the law is highly specialized and there are many jobs open for lawyers who have some background in those things. There are 130 pages of jobs on this website:

Attorney Jobs on CareerBuilder.com

I have a friend who practices and she is struggling. But she is too lazy to get a job, just wants to be in solo practice so she never misses an opportunity to fuck some guy. It's just like any other job. You get out of it what you put into it. And there are dues to be paid. But there are in any profession, including medicine and nursing.

 

[Vox]

Maybe the problem lies with a graduate himself/herself?

all those quotas/affirmative actions and other perks which get you into the law school might not get you the actual job.

Finishing law school is not enough - one needs to have some specialization in order to be competitive.

 

[Connery]

A person will succeed no matter the odds if they have the talent, drive, ambition and proper attitude. I hear the same things about MBAs, physicians and "sanitation workers". Life is tough the person has to be tougher.

 

[Toro]

One of the best things I ever did was tank the LSAT

y undertaking some straight-forward analysis of the factors that come into play I hope to spur future generations of potential law school attendees to think about the question rationally, as one of making an investment. If your law school education were a stock or a bond, offered in the marketplace, would you buy it? Should you buy it? Why or why not

My methodology is as follows. First, I identify the costs of attending law school. These are two: the opportunity cost of not entering the workforce immediately after graduation from college, and the out-of-pocket costs, primarily tuition, fees and books, inherent in attending law school. Based on these costs, I calculate the annuity-like return that must be achieved to recover the costs. This process is more complicated that it might seem, as it importantly requires isolation of the true benefits in terms of compensation offered by a law degree and the identification of an appropriate discount rate for converting such incremental compensation to net present value. ...

Suppose we convince ourselves that 17% is the appropriate discount rate for the incremental earnings generated by a law degree. Then Solid Performer would need to expect to earn, on average, $33,121 more in his first year of legal employment than he would have earned had he not gone to law school. Given that his hurdle compensation is $80,035, it follows that he must expect to earn $113,156 in his first year. Moreover, the $33,121 wage differential would need to be maintained, and indeed increased at a rate of 3.5% per annum, throughout the remainder of his career. ...

For the Class of 2008, the last year for which statistics were available, the median salary of a fledgling lawyer was $72,000. That salary obviously does not stack up very well against the required salaries set forth in my table. But that median salary tells a hopelessly deceptive story. The distribution of salaries was in fact bi-modal, with fully 42% of salaries falling between $40,000 and $65,000, and a smaller but still very significant number clustered at the elite Biglaw starting salary of $160,000. ...

With the tiniest bit of twenty-twenty hindsight, it is possible to identify, already in the third year of law school, some of the students who have made what has turned out to be not only an ex ante bad investment but an ex post losing investment. Thus, consider the 50% of hypothetical Solid Performers who do not end up with a job offer from a Biglaw firm. They begin their legal careers at a salary that is no higher, indeed is actually lower, than the one they could have obtained without having gone to law school. They are unlikely ever to dig themselves out of that hole.

Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be...Lawyers by Herwig J. Schlunk :: SSRN

 

[Mr. H.]

A person will succeed no matter the odds if they have the talent, drive, ambition and proper attitude. I hear the same things about MBAs, physicians and "sanitation workers". Life is tough the person has to be tougher.

How Doug McMillon Went From Unloading Trucks At Wal-Mart To Its Next CEO - Yahoo Finance

 

[Connery]

A person will succeed no matter the odds if they have the talent, drive, ambition and proper attitude. I hear the same things about MBAs, physicians and "sanitation workers". Life is tough the person has to be tougher.

How Doug McMillon Went From Unloading Trucks At Wal-Mart To Its Next CEO - Yahoo Finance

Yep gotta keep busting your ass and let nothing get in the way.

 

[boedicca]

One of the best things I ever did was tank the LSAT

I aced the LSATs, got into law school, and then changed my mind over the summer 'tween ungrad and grad school.

And I am eternally grateful that I did. My friends who are lawyers are, for the most part, not very happy with their careers.