Women, Do You Make Your Husbands Do Their Own Laundry?

[Concerned American]

sending a partner to sleep on the couch after a fight is a pretty common thing.

Never gone to bed angry in 48 years.

 

[Road Runner]

Never gone to bed angry in 48 years.

Good for you, she was just acting like it was unheard of and that nobody ever got angry with their partners.

 

[Concerned American]

Good for you, she was just acting like it was unheard of and that nobody ever got angry with their partners.

I didn't say that we have never been angry with one another--just never went to bed angry. Life isn't an absolute, that's what makes it worth living. What happens today may be totally different tomorrow and that's a good thing.

 

[Cecilie1200]

Yeah, maybe making was the wrong word I have to admit,.. but all I meant was having him pitch in and do the share of the chores.




We're engaged. We're not out on our own yet.



Now you're just being ridiculous.



Lol we don't even have kids yet.



I'm not really sure what you're getting at but I'm still going to do things for him,.. I'm just not going to do everything for him is all.



I mean in the sense that they both have responsibilities and getting angry with one another and sending a partner to sleep on the couch after a fight is a pretty common thing. Not that I expect that will happen of course because like I already said before we're both on the same page about sharing responsibilities.






True, but I don't think that can happen when you're already both in agreement about something.

Believe me, you're not going to be in agreement about everything. And as my pastor told Joe and me in our pre-wedding counseling - something he insists on with every couple he marries - most marriage problems aren't about the things we think are "big and important"; they're about little irritants that become intolerable over time.

I just worry that it sounds like you're going into this with the wrong perspective. I mean, I don't know either of you; all I've got is your words. But it sounds like you're looking at this as staking out a territory and making sure "that other person" doesn't take advantage of you. Not a great mindset for a marriage.

Not sure where you got the idea that it's common to "send" your partner anywhere. As I said, I can't imagine trying to send Joe to sleep somewhere else because I'm pissed at him. If anything, he's LESS likely to do what I want when we're arguing.

 

[miketx]

Never gone to bed angry in 48 years.

Bruises, contusions?

 

[Cecilie1200]

Good for you, she was just acting like it was unheard of and that nobody ever got angry with their partners.

Who was? Joe and I get in arguments. We both have very strong personalities, so it's inevitable. But I can't imagine ever telling Joe he can't sleep in his bed, no matter how pissed at him I am, because he'd tell me to go fuck myself. Same response I'd give him if he tried to order me to sleep on the sofa because he was mad at me.

We do go to bed angry sometimes, because I'm not one of those people you can do the, "We're going to sit down and work this out right now" thing with. If he pushes me to talk while I'm still angry, I'll end up saying things I don't mean and making it worse. So we go to bed, on our opposite sides of the bed, go to sleep, wake up snuggled together because 27 years of habit kick in, and when we wake up, we've cooled off and can talk calmly.

Evicting him from his bedroom is not a thing that's happening.

 

[whitehall]

Simple, it's the same thing that you expect from your children,.. be responsible for yourself or there will be consequences for your actions. Children are grounded and have their toys and special privileges taken away, men are sent to the sofa.

What consequences would you have in mind for an adult male?

 

[Cecilie1200]

What consequences would you have in mind for an adult male?

Well, apparently she thinks she's going to tell him, "You were very naughty to not do the chores I ordered you to, now go sleep on the couch and think about what you've done."

 

[Concerned American]

I can't imagine trying to send Joe to sleep somewhere else because I'm pissed at him.

That kind of thinking just might drive him to find someone else's bed to share.

 

[Concerned American]

Bruises, contusions?

Nope.

 

[Hellokitty]

My hubby makes the money and I'm good with doing most of the chores including yard work. Just got a good set of cordless yard tool stuff and can now do all the trimming and hedging. I'm picky with how I want things done, so it works out great. Husband does all the cars and minor fix-it stuff around the house. He's always offers to help if he see me working, which I try to do when he's not home, because once again I'm picky.

 

[hjmick]

Shit. I'd be lucky if my wife did her laundry much less mine...

 

[EyeBRollin]

In my dating experience I’ve found a lot of ladies in 2021 want traditional men but aren’t traditional women. Therefore, I’m of the opinion that if the guy makes most of the money, he shouldn’t be doing too many household chores.

 

[Man of Ethics]

Excuse me? The same as children? My husband is not my child. I do not give him orders and punish him for disobeying. I'm his wife, not his mommy. And I can't even imagine trying to tell my husband he can't sleep in his bed in his bedroom. I imagine it would start with the response, "Fuck that", and go downhill from there, though.

Thank you. Sadly most modern women do treat their partners as subordinate.

Even 50/50 setup described by Doctors Wife is OK. Liberal women who view men as oppressors are absolutely not marriage material.

 

[Man of Ethics]

In my dating experience I’ve found a lot of ladies in 2021 want traditional men but aren’t traditional women. Therefore, I’m of the opinion that if the guy makes most of the money, he shouldn’t be doing too many household chores.

If she is a Conservative woman who believes in Gender Equality like tho OP, that is great.

If she is a Progressive who has contempt for men, then she will definitely be an abuser.

 

[Unkotare]

If she is a Conservative woman who believes in Gender Equality like tho OP, that is great.

If she is a Progressive who has contempt for men, then she will definitely be an abuser.

My wife is perhaps even more conservative than I am.

 

[iamwhatiseem]

Why? Because you expect her to baby you and do everything for you?

I do all of Bonzi and I's laundry.
I do so, because I work in an industry that needs to start the business day earlier than most. I am at the office no later than 6am.
So I get home 2-3 hours before she does. So I do most of the "house chores" because it is best for both of us. When she gets home we can do what we want together. I would consider it egregiously selfish if I only did my own. I couldn't imagine it.
I also make dinner every weekday night. Doing so gives us more time together. It benefits both of us.
I hate running errands. Going to the drug store for something, or we are out of bread... need to drop by the grocery store. Bonzi does at least 90% of our errands. She cleans up after dinner everyday.
We have a partnership. It isn't a competition. No one keeps score.

 

[JOSweetHeart]

I've never been married, but just by the way that my parents are alone, I pray that I can find a person who is just like me when it comes to certain things and what's being discussed here is one of them things. Right now, it's just my mom and me and even though I do love her, she and I are a lot more different than we are alike. Our faces and our feet may be the only thing that she and I have in common compared to several other things which I obviously must have got from my dad. My being on the more organized side of things comes from him. Whether she admits to it or not, my mom is pretty much the slob of my family and so because of them being the way that they are, I have learned over the years what I am more willing to tolerate and put up with and whatever I am not willing to deal with.

God bless you and my mom always!!!

Holly

P.S. I do the majority of the laundry at my house, and it is because I just have the better ability to stay caught up on it more. I guess you could say that I have learned a good deal about discipline, and it is because of the way that both of my parents are not.

 

[Road Runner]

I just worry that it sounds like you're going into this with the wrong perspective. I mean, I don't know either of you; all I've got is your words. But it sounds like you're looking at this as staking out a territory and making sure "that other person" doesn't take advantage of you. .

And that's a bad thing?? First of all I already know that we aren't always going to agree with one another, but not wanting to take advantage of the other person or have them take advantage of you in a marriage seems like a really good thing to me and neither of us do want to do that. So I expect we won't have any problems.

Well, apparently she thinks she's going to tell him, "You were very naughty to not do the chores I ordered you to, now go sleep on the couch and think about what you've done."

No I'm not going to tell him that because he isn't like that. I was just making an example.

If she is a Conservative woman who believes in Gender Equality like tho OP, that is great.

If she is a Progressive who has contempt for men, then she will definitely be an abuser.

Conservative definitely.

 

[Cecilie1200]

And that's a bad thing?? First of all I already know that we aren't always going to agree with one another, but not wanting to take advantage of the other person or have them take advantage of you in a marriage seems like a really good thing to me and neither of us do want to do that. So I expect we won't have any problems.





No I'm not going to tell him that because he isn't like that. I was just making an example.






Conservative definitely.

Yes, it is a bad thing to be going into a marriage with that mindset already in place. Going into such an intimate and long-term relationship with that sort of potentially-adversarial, "determined to maintain individuality" attitude is a recipe for failure. Marriage isn't like just moving in with a new roommate. You're supposed to be a team, becoming a fused unit.