A question for parents

[Bonnie]

Dating is a problem - at least the way it's practiced nowadays...

i.e. "Going steady" with someone - would be better for kids to "go on dates" but with lots of diff folks.... that "going steady" stuff just mentally prepares them to think "Gee, if it gets though, I'll just dump em' and run out and get someone else"...

I like the concept of courting much more.. .

Courting is young adults seeking each other under their parents' supervision for the purpose of finding a spouse in the will of God.

I agree with that!!! Casual dating not going steady. when I was in school for some reason if I went out on a date with a guy they automatically assumed we were a steady item and would get angry If I went out with someone else. And that led to problems.

 

[dmp]

Dating is a problem - at least the way it's practiced nowadays...

i.e. "Going steady" with someone - would be better for kids to "go on dates" but with lots of diff folks.... that "going steady" stuff just mentally prepares them to think "Gee, if it gets though, I'll just dump em' and run out and get someone else"...

I like the concept of courting much more.. .

Courting is young adults seeking each other under their parents' supervision for the purpose of finding a spouse in the will of God.

Dating is not a problem. Parents not instilling discipline and a sense of 'honor' and 'purity' upon their kids IS a problem, however. I hope my kids date a lot...I hope they learn about themselves, and the types of people they like to be around. Once you are married, you may realize all those 'promises' about who they will become 'after they get married' are never going to happen. It's a good way to be set up for a lifetime of frustration.

I'm not a Doctor, or a licensed therapist...but I know a lot of stuff.


You should start a thread about what we had for dinner sunday, duane.

 

[Mr. P]

Dating is a problem - at least the way it's practiced nowadays...

i.e. "Going steady" with someone - would be better for kids to "go on dates" but with lots of diff folks.... that "going steady" stuff just mentally prepares them to think "Gee, if it gets though, I'll just dump em' and run out and get someone else"...

I like the concept of courting much more.. .

Courting is young adults seeking each other under their parents' supervision for the purpose of finding a spouse in the will of God.

Are you saying you support arranged marriage?

 

[Said1]

Like I said, I guess it all depends on what the definition of dating is...

True enough. My friends and I didn't really "date" in highschool. We were the sneak out the window type of girls. I have NO intention of looking the other way, like our parents did with us. This doesn't mean an evening with a group of friends, including a boy she likes won't be permitted (in a public place, with lots of lighting!!!!!!).

Ok, back in denial mode.

 

[dmp]

I agree with that!!! Casual dating not going steady. when I was in school for some reason if I went out on a date with a guy they automatically assumed we were a steady item and would get angry If I went out with someone else. And that led to problems.

I bet I'd be one of those guys who would get upset. I've never done the whole 'dating' thing, however. I can assume, though, if I had, and I found a girl I liked, I'd really just want to 'stop' and pursue that relationship before dating others.

Now...just going out to hang out...that's fine. It would be like if I picked you up this weekend, bonnie, and we caught a movie. There's nothing romantic, or 'dating-dating' about having a 'date' to do something like that.

I hope I'm explaining it right - I'm re-reading and not sure even I completely get what I'm trying to say.

 

[freeandfun1]

Bonnie, yes, maturity matters!

It seems we are all pretty much in agreement. Dating as in "going steady" I do not support. But dating as in, going to a dance, the movies, etc. is cool but I don't think we should encourage the kids to get too serious. We should encourage them to get to know various types before trying to get a steady going... that was my point.

 

[Joan]

I agree with Darin 100%. It is up to the parents to instill values in their children. If you can only court under supervision with your parents, will it be you - or your parents who eventually select your mate? No, going steady is not great for teenagers, but dating is how we see differences in different girls or boys, and decide what we like and don't like. I've seen many parents who thought their child was marrying someone "wonderful", and then had to pay for a nasty divorce when the person turned out to be a real creep!

 

[-Cp]

Are you saying you support arranged marriage?

I'm saying that I'd really like it if my 5 kids would all work w/ myself and their mother in helping them during the whole "finding a spouse" process...

 

[dmp]

I'm saying that I'd really like it if my 5 kids would all work w/ myself and their mother in helping them during the whole "finding a spouse" process...

You sound an awful lot like John William. Umbrella of protection, anyone?

Now that you have kids of your own, perhaps some of the off-the-wall, hard-nosed things he said aren't so nuts afterall?

 

[-Cp]

You sound an awful lot like John William. Umbrella of protection, anyone?

Now that you have kids of your own, perhaps some of the off-the-wall, hard-nosed things he said aren't so nuts afterall?

Right..... it's always diff when you're the parent.... especially the parent of some "good kids"...

Now if I had kids like certain others I know, I'd be like "knock yerself out"...

 

[dmp]

Right..... it's always diff when you're the parent.... especially the parent of some "good kids"...

Now if I had kids like certain others I know, I'd be like "knock yerself out"...

Present Company excluded, right??? Right???

hah

 

[Bonnie]

I agree with Darin 100%. It is up to the parents to instill values in their children. If you can only court under supervision with your parents, will it be you - or your parents who eventually select your mate? No, going steady is not great for teenagers, but dating is how we see differences in different girls or boys, and decide what we like and don't like. I've seen many parents who thought their child was marrying someone "wonderful", and then had to pay for a nasty divorce when the person turned out to be a real creep!

Amen to that!!!

 

[Mr. P]

I'm saying that I'd really like it if my 5 kids would all work w/ myself and their mother in helping them during the whole "finding a spouse" process...

Same thing I guess...Let me tell ya..you're in for trouble..I worked with a guy that felt about the same..reality is harsh.

 

[Bonnie]

I bet I'd be one of those guys who would get upset. I've never done the whole 'dating' thing, however. I can assume, though, if I had, and I found a girl I liked, I'd really just want to 'stop' and pursue that relationship before dating others.

Now...just going out to hang out...that's fine. It would be like if I picked you up this weekend, bonnie, and we caught a movie. There's nothing romantic, or 'dating-dating' about having a 'date' to do something like that.

I hope I'm explaining it right - I'm re-reading and not sure even I completely get what I'm trying to say.

You mean like group dating..... We used to go skating as a group, or to the movies. I wasn't allowed to go steady till I was 17 but that was better for me in many ways.

 

[dmp]

You mean like group dating..... We used to go skating as a group, or to the movies. I wasn't allowed to go steady till I was 17 but that was better for me in many ways.

Or even one-on-one dating; Two "kids" going out to a football game, because they enjoy eachother's company - not because they wanna fool around..

 

[-Cp]

Or even one-on-one dating; Two "kids" going out to a football game, because they enjoy eachother's company - not because they wanna fool around..

Show me two 17yr olds (male and female) who want to go out on dates who wouldn't "fool around" if possible? LOL!

 

[dmp]

Show me two 17yr olds (male and female) who want to go out on dates who wouldn't "fool around" if possible? LOL!

I don't know two 17 year old kids.


I can assure you I know a 27 year old woman who wouldn't wanna go out on a date and 'fool around'. (sigh)...but I digress....hehe...

 

[Bonnie]

Show me two 17yr olds (male and female) who want to go out on dates who wouldn't "fool around" if possible? LOL!

Ohh not many LOL, not even Ahmish kids couldn't have that much virtue, but it depends on what you mean by fooling around as in kissing or the real grown up stuff. Which comes down to how you raise them.

 

[Nuc]

A 15, 16, 17 year old doesn't need to be thinking about finding a mate.

Biology says that we should have sex starting at puberty. To behave otherwise is unnatural. Waiting for ten or fifteen years after puberty to have sex defies nature (or the creator if you prefer).

 

[freeandfun1]

Biology says that we should have sex starting at puberty. To behave otherwise is unnatural. Waiting for ten or fifteen years after puberty to have sex defies nature (or the creator if you prefer).

lol

You must belong to the "sex by 8 or it's too late club".

What an idiot.