Cheating on your Lover

[Sherry]

The porn industry and how it makes money is not really a very good indicator of whether women have trouble controlling lust. Do you think porn is the only outlet for sexual frustration?

No, I don't. If it were, we wouldn't be talking about infidelity.

My point about the porn is that most men find it to be the most readily available means of relieving frustration, or more appropriately, finding some gratification, because it gets right to the point - sex.

If women had just as difficult a time with lust as men do, it seems they would seek the same directly sexual outlet.

By contrast, the romance novel market is pretty big - has been for years. Who buys them?

Sherry said it, porn doesn't have to be pictures.

Words, both written and spoken, can be very stimulating. Is phone sex cheating??

 

[dilloduck]

No, I don't. If it were, we wouldn't be talking about infidelity.

My point about the porn is that most men find it to be the most readily available means of relieving frustration, or more appropriately, finding some gratification, because it gets right to the point - sex.

If women had just as difficult a time with lust as men do, it seems they would seek the same directly sexual outlet.

By contrast, the romance novel market is pretty big - has been for years. Who buys them?

Sherry said it, porn doesn't have to be pictures.

Words, both written and spoken, can be very stimulating. Is phone sex cheating??

I would assume so if you have promised someone that you will be "loyal".

 

[Anguille]

No, I don't. If it were, we wouldn't be talking about infidelity.

My point about the porn is that most men find it to be the most readily available means of relieving frustration, or more appropriately, finding some gratification, because it gets right to the point - sex.

If women had just as difficult a time with lust as men do, it seems they would seek the same directly sexual outlet.

By contrast, the romance novel market is pretty big - has been for years. Who buys them?

Sherry said it, porn doesn't have to be pictures.

Words, both written and spoken, can be very stimulating. Is phone sex cheating??

I'd say none of it is cheating unless it starts to crowd out the other person. For example, someone with a porn addiction so strong it starts to take over their life is cheating in a way.

 

[LuckyDan]

No, I don't. If it were, we wouldn't be talking about infidelity.

My point about the porn is that most men find it to be the most readily available means of relieving frustration, or more appropriately, finding some gratification, because it gets right to the point - sex.

If women had just as difficult a time with lust as men do, it seems they would seek the same directly sexual outlet.

By contrast, the romance novel market is pretty big - has been for years. Who buys them?

Sherry said it, porn doesn't have to be pictures.

Words, both written and spoken, can be very stimulating. Is phone sex cheating??

True. Men tend to be more easily stimulated by the visual, where women require something more...what? mental? How to characterize it, I'm not sure.

 

[Sherry]

Sherry said it, porn doesn't have to be pictures.

Words, both written and spoken, can be very stimulating. Is phone sex cheating??

True. Men tend to be more easily stimulated by the visual, where women require something more...what? mental? How to characterize it, I'm not sure.

1. foreplay
2. fucking
3. snuggling

 

[dilloduck]

Words, both written and spoken, can be very stimulating. Is phone sex cheating??

True. Men tend to be more easily stimulated by the visual, where women require something more...what? mental? How to characterize it, I'm not sure.

1. foreplay
2. fucking
3. snuggling

Does it HAVE to be in that order ?

 

[Sherry]

True. Men tend to be more easily stimulated by the visual, where women require something more...what? mental? How to characterize it, I'm not sure.

1. foreplay
2. fucking
3. snuggling

Does it HAVE to be in that order ?

Nah, switch it up to keep it interesting.

 

[Paulie]

I find it interesting that most people will be willing to offer someone an opportunity for redemption for just about ANY offense, but for some reason the issue of fidelity seems to be a deal breaker in a most absolute sense.

Why is that? What the fuck is so important about the act of sex that it's put on some kind of pedestal like that?

 

[LuckyDan]

Words, both written and spoken, can be very stimulating. Is phone sex cheating??

True. Men tend to be more easily stimulated by the visual, where women require something more...what? mental? How to characterize it, I'm not sure.

1. foreplay
2. fucking
3. snuggling

#3 is a very female thing, I think, but you're describing a romantic/sexual experience. I was talking about porn and romance lit as substituutes for that, and using them as examples of the male-female differences.

 

[Anguille]

I find it interesting that most people will be willing to offer someone an opportunity for redemption for just about ANY offense, but for some reason the issue of fidelity seems to be a deal breaker in a most absolute sense.

Why is that? What the fuck is so important about the act of sex that it's put on some kind of pedestal like that?

I think it's because in the past, before modern birth control methods, sex entailed more complications than it does today. People's attitudes just haven't evolved yet.

 

[dilloduck]

I find it interesting that most people will be willing to offer someone an opportunity for redemption for just about ANY offense, but for some reason the issue of fidelity seems to be a deal breaker in a most absolute sense.

Why is that? What the fuck is so important about the act of sex that it's put on some kind of pedestal like that?

welcome---we've been exploring that very topic. Give it your best shot. There are some pretty honest women here who are assisting too. It's appreciated.

 

[Anguille]

True. Men tend to be more easily stimulated by the visual, where women require something more...what? mental? How to characterize it, I'm not sure.

1. foreplay
2. fucking
3. snuggling

#3 is a very female thing, I think, but you're describing a romantic/sexual experience. I was talking about porn and romance lit as a substituute for that, and using them a examples of the male-female differences.

You place a lot of emphasis on the alleged differences between men and women. I just don't see it. I think the differences are negligible and I find more differences between personality types than between the sexes.

 

[Anguille]

I find it interesting that most people will be willing to offer someone an opportunity for redemption for just about ANY offense, but for some reason the issue of fidelity seems to be a deal breaker in a most absolute sense.

Why is that? What the fuck is so important about the act of sex that it's put on some kind of pedestal like that?

Paulie, what would you do if your girlfriend made a sammich for another guy?

 

[Sherry]

True. Men tend to be more easily stimulated by the visual, where women require something more...what? mental? How to characterize it, I'm not sure.

1. foreplay
2. fucking
3. snuggling

#3 is a very female thing, I think, but you're describing a romantic/sexual experience. I was talking about porn and romance lit as a substituute for that, and using them a examples of the male-female differences.

A romance novel can provide a mental sort of "snuggling". It provides the COMPLETE fantasy, and I think that's what women crave more than men. Men can look at a pic and just jump into the middle of it and be satisfied, with no closure necessary.

 

[Sherry]

I find it interesting that most people will be willing to offer someone an opportunity for redemption for just about ANY offense, but for some reason the issue of fidelity seems to be a deal breaker in a most absolute sense.

Why is that? What the fuck is so important about the act of sex that it's put on some kind of pedestal like that?

Because it makes some people feel vulnerable in a way other things do not.

 

[goldcatt]

1. foreplay
2. fucking
3. snuggling

#3 is a very female thing, I think, but you're describing a romantic/sexual experience. I was talking about porn and romance lit as a substituute for that, and using them a examples of the male-female differences.

A romance novel can provide a mental sort of "snuggling". It provides the COMPLETE fantasy, and I think that's what women crave more than men. Men can look at a pic and just jump into the middle of it and be satisfied, with no closure necessary.

Exactly!

 

[LuckyDan]

1. foreplay
2. fucking
3. snuggling

#3 is a very female thing, I think, but you're describing a romantic/sexual experience. I was talking about porn and romance lit as a substituute for that, and using them a examples of the male-female differences.

You place a lot of emphasis on the alleged differences between men and women. I just don't see it. I think the differences are negligible and I find more differences between personality types than between the sexes.

I'm generalizing yes, but I believe the male-female differences are much greater than many want to admit - especially women.

What is interesting is that I've noticed that those women who see little difference between the sexes (or claim to) tend to have sexual attitudes similar to those of men. Whether it's more of the lip than of the heart, I'm not sure.

When we get down to the individual, of course the generalizations become fuzzier, but I think they provide a good starting point.

 

[dilloduck]

We like to give that impression

Contrary to some of what you seem to be getting from my posts I don't think people have to be perfect. And while I'd certainly want a man who made a commitment to keep it, being imperfect is nothing to live in shame over. Like every other part of life it's something to learn from, and maybe fix or maybe move on depending on the situation and the people involved. But shame solves nothing.

Ever know a woman who just set out to get laid some weekend ? If so--did she feel shame afterwards or jsut accept it as a natural part of beign a woman ?

bump

 

[LuckyDan]

1. foreplay
2. fucking
3. snuggling

#3 is a very female thing, I think, but you're describing a romantic/sexual experience. I was talking about porn and romance lit as a substituute for that, and using them a examples of the male-female differences.

A romance novel can provide a mental sort of "snuggling". It provides the COMPLETE fantasy, and I think that's what women crave more than men. Men can look at a pic and just jump into the middle of it and be satisfied, with no closure necessary.

We don't disagree, but what do you mean by closure?

 

[Amanda]

It may not be cheating, but your relationship will never last. Dr Dru says if you have to do things like that, there is something wrong with your relationship.

Dr Dru????

OMFG... Dr Dru. There's a whole other thread right there.

Ok, so back to reality. Who said "have to"? How about... enjoy?

We've been together more than a year and things are only getting better. You need a ton of trust to do what we do and we have it. I'd give my relationship better odds than most because we're so open with each other. I've never, EVER felt to connected to someone, and I'm pretty sure he feels the same.

You are talking about having sex with other men, and you want to talk about reality?
ANd PS DR Dru isn't the only one who says that.
And like I said, if you need to seek sex elsewhere there is something wrong with the relationship, even if you SO knows about.

And like I said and you ignored twice... Who said "need"?