Judge leaves Man $58 to live on, tells him: "You can afford it, figure it out."

[Skull Pilot]

No retard- They continue to get support until they are 21, in some circumstances, like if they are in school, and such. Even still, you will say- "Oh that only adds three years!"
Well, the question here is, why are you even guessing that all of her kids are a year apart or even two years apart? Maybe they are ten years a fucking part. My aunt had a group of kids, and the oldest ones were as much as 15 years older than the younger ones. Go fucking figure, yourself.

No one collects child support until their kids are 24 or older.

Who's the fucking retard now?

Many times the father is still on the hook to pay for college, meaning he is on the hook until 22! It is very common for affluent families.

Just another stupid law.

Who says a parent has to pay for their kids' college? is that some sort of Constitutional right these days?

Maybe I should sue my parents for not paying for my college education.

 

[GHook93]

Give custody to the men 50% of the time and the problems will end overnight.

J-Joint C-C-Custody? What is this tomfoolery?

(In all seriousness, good idea.)

That is not what joint custody is, you fucking retard!

 

[GHook93]

No one collects child support until their kids are 24 or older.

Who's the fucking retard now?

Many times the father is still on the hook to pay for college, meaning he is on the hook until 22! It is very common for affluent families.

Just another stupid law.

Who says a parent has to pay for their kids' college? is that some sort of Constitutional right these days?

Maybe I should sue my parents for not paying for my college education.

Not in the constitution per se, but its in most state statute books and within case law. It is definitely in the IL Marriage Dissolution Statute. But if you follow the 10th amendment, "Powers not delegated to the US Federal government by the constitution, or prohibited to the states, are respectively reserved to the states or the people" (or it says something along those lines).

To this day marriage and dissolution of marriage doesn't have any Federal laws surrounding it, so the States have a constitutional right to makes laws surrounding it.

I agree a college education should not be mandatory, but as a father you should (as I do) feel obligated to see your children go to college. But the court's shouldn't demand it!

 

[Modbert]

That is not what joint custody is, you fucking retard!

Whoosh.

 

[GHook93]

That is not what joint custody is, you fucking retard!

Whoosh.

Joint custody doesn't mean equal time with the child. Most of the time a the non-majority parent gets the same time with the child when the award is sole custody with visitations and joint custody.

All joint custody allows is other parent some say and decision-making rights, such as, but not limited to, the child's education, where the child lives (meaning geographic locations), doctors the child sees, the child's religion etc.

 

[Modbert]

Joint custody doesn't mean equal time with the child. Most of the time a the non-majority parent gets the same time with the child when the award is sole custody with visitations and joint custody.

All joint custody allows is other parent some say and decision-making rights, such as, but not limited to, the child's education, where the child lives (meaning geographic locations), doctors the child sees, the child's religion etc.

Again, whoosh.

 

[Polk]

men should be more careful with their sperm.

In that case, women should keep their legs closed more often. See how it goes both ways?

Now now now. We wouldn't want to trample on the rights of women.

 

[Againsheila]

Give custody to the men 50% of the time and the problems will end overnight.

J-Joint C-C-Custody? What is this tomfoolery?

(In all seriousness, good idea.)

That is not what joint custody is, you fucking retard!

joint custody works for me too...

 

[JD_2B]

Uhhh no. I can pull the fucking things off with my vagina. Only women who do not lubricate properly would notice because it would be chafing. I have noticed the condom before, when I wasn't in the mood for sex, sure. It fucking hurts when you dont want it. Furthermore, it STILL wouldn't have been my fault, even if I COULD feel it. What the fuck, man. Don't you know about pre-ejaculate semen and all that shit? That motherfucker KNOCKED ME UP, so I would marry him, and did not give a rats ass about the kid that we had, whom I have loved unconditionally, and held very dear to me for ten years now. Dont you DARE berate me- If anything I am a flipping HERO for having a kid, after my spouse beat the shit out of me while I was pregnant, a couple weeks after the "shotgun" wedding, making me a single mom for life. Dont say another fucking WORD about that.

I think you took my question well the wrong way. I wasn't judging you, rather I was asking a question to which I had no clue about. I figured women felt a difference (since god knows us guys do), but whether you do or don't, I had no idea to that.

I have nothing but respect for mothers in general, esp single mothers. While bring home the bacon is tough, staying home and raising the kid is very tough (I have done it a few times and prefer to go to the office). I personally couldn't do it everyday, esp when the kid is young.

I wasn't knocking you only asking a question.

OK I am sorry for going off the deep end there.. I just hate that since men can easily tell, they always think a women can also tell, and some of them (Skull pilot, no doubt, is one of them) think that men are the gas and women are the brakes, and that women should have 100% control of everything sexual, etc etc.. So telling that story is difficult for me, and being questioned on the validity (which is how I took your comments) is even harder for me. I am sorry for letting my emotions take over, GHook. I shouldn't have gone after you like that.

We don't have a whole lot of nerve endings inside of our vaginas. Its the gland that actually is the g-spot that needs stimulation in order for us to have pleasure during intercourse. Plus, if the woman lubricates well then you have the added issue of not having any room for chafing or anything, the way men can have, if even a part of their penis is not well lubricated.

Christ, I bet you are "anti abortion" too.. Asshole. Go fucking figure.

Nope I am pro-choice. A conservative, but pro-choice nonetheless.
http://www.usmessageboard.com/1176620-post1.html

=) You are awesome. =)

Dude.. You didn't know him. You never saw him literally throwing the thanksgiving turkey and cooler and all that stuff out the front door, in front of his kid, after I spent hundreds of dollars on a hotel and gas to come up there and cook for him, and give his supposedly broke ass (lies lies lies.. He was hiding a new fucking sportscar at his parents house the whole time) some time with his kid, whom he NEVER ONCE even TRIED to come down here and see. You weren't there when he cussed me out in front of our child and sent us home, for a 7 hour drive, without so much as a Thank you, or an I love you to his own kid.
You don't have to look a little boy in the eyes every year at Christmas, Easter, and on his Birthday, and explain to him why the card from his dad never came to the house. NEVER. Once he bought him a box of toys, and while I was pregnant, he bought him a stuffed animal. Those two things were such a big deal to my son, AFTER his dad died.. He never really cared for them before, because his dad never cared for HIM. He doesn't even want his dad's picture hung up on a wall or in his room or anything. It is RARE that my son shows any interest at this point.
My son was 7 years old when his dad died, and he wasn't even MENTIONED in the obituary. I had to find out through the myspace page comments that he had even died, and that was three months later.
I support my son's need to love his dad, and I have ALWAYS fostered it in any way possible.. But my kid is SO much happier now- As disinterested as he is in the pictures and all that, he still talks about him, and remembers that thanksgiving trip occasionally, but really he doesn't have a lot of memories of his dad, because his DAD was a fucking SPERM DONOR and never MANNED UP and acted like a FATHER.
Now, my kid can dream big about an alternate reality of the fatherhood his dad ceased to give him, and just (rarely, but he does it) claims that his dad is a ghost looking down on us, and taking care of things for him. THAT makes him HAPPY.

Believe it or don't believe it, but don't tell me how my child should feel, or how I should feel, or EVER act like I have been anything but supportive of the two of them, in fostering a relationship that never really existed, but on a shallow level. I am sick and damn tired of men sticking up for deadbeat dads, and acting like a woman is to blame. You can fuck off if you are going to have that kind of mindset towards me or any other woman based on a shallow and unrelenting hate for women, rather than seeing the big picture for what it is. I thought you were better than that, GHook.

Well when you add that little piece of information I can well see your point.

You have to realize I look at it from the father's perspective (since I am one) and sometimes I naively think all Dad's would do anything for their kids even if they have fallen out of love with their wife or even grown to hate their wife.
No matter how bad things get between the wife and I, I will all treat my 2 daughters as princesses and my son as a princess.

But there are some fathers (and mothers) who are just plain bad apples and your ex seems to be one of them. Sorry to offend!

Lastly, I would never stick up for a deadbeat dad, NEVER! An man who does is beyond worthless in my eyes. As a father I couldn't imagine not seeing my kids on the regular. Nor could I live with the fact of disappointing my kids on purpose.

You are a great person, and an even better father. Kudos to you! I know that most men want to be good fathers, but face certain obstacles sometimes (like being alienated by the mom, or having their own mothers and girlfriends hate their baby mama) I am a big proponent of paternal rights, and I know a lot of good men (like you) who really step up to the plate and take care of their kids, no matter what, also. In the case of my ex, well- he actually never fell out of love with me. He was always heartbroken that we split up, and continued to send me love letters (really apology letters, lol) for years after we were divorced. It was just in between relationships, more than anything, that we talked and could have him visit our kid, etc. My ex mother in law hates my guts, which I think is primarily because I married her son..and they wanted a little girl, and I had a boy, etc, etc.. and then two weeks after we were married, (I was still pregnant and didn't know the sex of the baby yet) he hit me. She and his dad called me a liar when the neighbors called the cops that day that he hit me, and I made a statement on him. I didn't sign it, even. I couldn't do it. I didn't want to be with him, but I wanted him to get better, mentally, so I offered to let him have another chance if he went to a shrink. The family ended up trapping me in their trailer home, and then calling the cops on me (that same day) because I was screaming for them to let me out. Since I didnt sign the damn complaint and it was a Saturday when all this went down, so there was no warrant yet for his felony charge, AND I didnt tell them I was preggers, and was really just wanting to be out of the house, I was hysterical and ended up putting my hands behind my back and daring the cops to arrest me, since clearly I was the victim and thats just what they do.. arrest the victim. Since no charges were I got fucking charged with resisting an officer without violence. Apparently they were going to let me go, but when my ex came out to the cop car (to tel me to just calm down I later found out) and I asked him if I was going to jail, he didn't say "not if you calm your ass down", my ex said "Yes you are going to jail". So- I went to fucking JAIL, too. Asshole. Man. What a jerk, right.

Well, he ended up going to a shrink, but the shrink thought that we needed marriage counseling, because it was a marriage counselor that he went to see. When I went in, alone, I gave my statement to her, all written out. Then we went together (thats how I know it was marriage counseling) and he denied hitting me. I just took off right then and there, and said "fuck it.- See if your non-accountable behind ever gets time alone with my child. No fucking way, dude." My charges were later dropped based on my offering a statement to the counselor, and 5 minutes together in her office with him, based on his dad telling the state attorneys office that I had "gotten counseling" since the event. Fucking bullshit. LMAO!! Those people are FUBAR, man.. Totally fucked.

So I requested that he have supervised visitation, because he was physically abusive to me when I was pregnant, and I really wanted to at least be able to know my kid would be safe around him. I asked him to see a therapist, hoping he would get on some medication, but he never took his own mental illness seriously enough to get that far. I did get the request for supervised visitation approved, because the judge could see that he was an asshole, even during the divorce hearings, which he attended by phone conference. He actually went so far as to say that he didn't think the kid was his, and claimed that I was a cheater. I said to the judge- "I will pay for the paternity test. I never cheated on him. I was in the navy, and there were about 50 males to every one female on the base, and he was always extremely jealous about me saying Good Morning to my co-workers. He doesnt have to pay for it- I will more than happily pay for the test, if that will make him be a dad to his child." Well the judge decided that since we were married we didnt need a paternity test, and the rest is history.
Fun story to tell right. Ugh. See why I get all pissy about my ex? He and his family are a bunch of fucking assholes from hell. =)

So again.. Good Riddance. ;-) I really mean it.

And I am sorry, again, for going off on you. I really mean that. I hope you will forgive me. You are a cool guy. =)

 

[JD_2B]

men should be more careful with their sperm.

let's be fair here, women should be more careful with their womb....

Wonder how many of them would get pregnant if they knew that they only had a 50-50 chance of getting custody and child support?

Well that's where a Catch-22 does not need to be applied. It takes two people to tango, so to speak. Even if the two people were just incredibly attracted to each other, and went home from a bar together- that is just how our MATING game works. And in our society, if you mate, you technically do it to procreate. That's how nature works. Women should not be burdened with 100% of the financial care of the resulting child, just because she is stuck with the pregnancy and birthing and breast feeding.

It is not always all that easy to NOT get pregnant. People do stupid shit, and BOTH of the partners are involved with it. I think that a man who sleeps with a woman who claims she is on birth control would be well set to bring a condom, and use it, and just protect himself a little further against becoming a father. Both partners have equal rights and access to birth control methods, and neither females nor males can or should be "blamed" for a pregnancy. Both should take responsibility for it, though- regardless of what birth control methods either side used. Lots of men end up with a baby even though they chose to use a condom, and lots of women end up with a baby even though they, too, chose to use a condom or diaphragm, etc.. Besides, half the time, most people don't roll the fucking condom all the way down the penis, to where there is no latex left to unroll, and that causes semen to get out, rendering the condom thoroughly useless, anyways. Even getting a little jizz on the vaginal LIPS can get a woman pregnant. The sperm know where they are, and they know where to go.

People really need to get better acquainted with the whole "pregnancy 101" class.. and stop acting like one person is to blame. We all have accountability, and we all need to face up to it.

 

[Againsheila]

men should be more careful with their sperm.

let's be fair here, women should be more careful with their womb....

Wonder how many of them would get pregnant if they knew that they only had a 50-50 chance of getting custody and child support?

Well that's where a Catch-22 does not need to be applied. It takes two people to tango, so to speak. Even if the two people were just incredibly attracted to each other, and went home from a bar together- that is just how our MATING game works. And in our society, if you mate, you technically do it to procreate. That's how nature works. Women should not be burdened with 100% of the financial care of the resulting child, just because she is stuck with the pregnancy and birthing and breast feeding.

It is not always all that easy to NOT get pregnant. People do stupid shit, and BOTH of the partners are involved with it. I think that a man who sleeps with a woman who claims she is on birth control would be well set to bring a condom, and use it, and just protect himself a little further against becoming a father. Both partners have equal rights and access to birth control methods, and neither females nor males can or should be "blamed" for a pregnancy. Both should take responsibility for it, though- regardless of what birth control methods either side used. Lots of men end up with a baby even though they chose to use a condom, and lots of women end up with a baby even though they, too, chose to use a condom or diaphragm, etc.. Besides, half the time, most people don't roll the fucking condom all the way down the penis, to where there is no latex left to unroll, and that causes semen to get out, rendering the condom thoroughly useless, anyways. Even getting a little jizz on the vaginal LIPS can get a woman pregnant. The sperm know where they are, and they know where to go.

People really need to get better acquainted with the whole "pregnancy 101" class.. and stop acting like one person is to blame. We all have accountability, and we all need to face up to it.

Actually, considering abortion is legal, a woman can kill a child after it's conception while a man is stuck with whatever the woman wants. If she wants the abortion, he has no say, if she wants the kid, he gets child support payments. Like I said, wonder how many women would go through with it knowing they only had a 50/50 chance of getting custody.

As long as abortion is legal, I think men should be able to "opt out" of being a father after conception. Fair is fair.

 

[Anguille]

Fuck that. The kids are his, he can figure it out. I'm raising 4 (it doesn't stop when they turn 18) and the pittance I get in child support is a joke. Heat alone is $200 a month....so 2/3 of that is theirs, and 1/2 of that should by rights be his. Add that to their portion of the rent, and guess what? I don't get anywhere near what I spend on them.

And that's just the second set. The first set, I've receive a grand total (over 24 years) of $5,200. Woo fucking hoo. We spent that much on one broken arm, 13 years ago.

Why should anyone be obliged to pay child support for someone over the age of 18? That's ridiculous.

 

[Anguille]

As long as abortion is legal, I think men should be able to "opt out" of being a father after conception. Fair is fair.

I agree.

 

[Intense]

let's be fair here, women should be more careful with their womb....

Wonder how many of them would get pregnant if they knew that they only had a 50-50 chance of getting custody and child support?

Well that's where a Catch-22 does not need to be applied. It takes two people to tango, so to speak. Even if the two people were just incredibly attracted to each other, and went home from a bar together- that is just how our MATING game works. And in our society, if you mate, you technically do it to procreate. That's how nature works. Women should not be burdened with 100% of the financial care of the resulting child, just because she is stuck with the pregnancy and birthing and breast feeding.

It is not always all that easy to NOT get pregnant. People do stupid shit, and BOTH of the partners are involved with it. I think that a man who sleeps with a woman who claims she is on birth control would be well set to bring a condom, and use it, and just protect himself a little further against becoming a father. Both partners have equal rights and access to birth control methods, and neither females nor males can or should be "blamed" for a pregnancy. Both should take responsibility for it, though- regardless of what birth control methods either side used. Lots of men end up with a baby even though they chose to use a condom, and lots of women end up with a baby even though they, too, chose to use a condom or diaphragm, etc.. Besides, half the time, most people don't roll the fucking condom all the way down the penis, to where there is no latex left to unroll, and that causes semen to get out, rendering the condom thoroughly useless, anyways. Even getting a little jizz on the vaginal LIPS can get a woman pregnant. The sperm know where they are, and they know where to go.

People really need to get better acquainted with the whole "pregnancy 101" class.. and stop acting like one person is to blame. We all have accountability, and we all need to face up to it.

Actually, considering abortion is legal, a woman can kill a child after it's conception while a man is stuck with whatever the woman wants. If she wants the abortion, he has no say, if she wants the kid, he gets child support payments. Like I said, wonder how many women would go through with it knowing they only had a 50/50 chance of getting custody.

As long as abortion is legal, I think men should be able to "opt out" of being a father after conception. Fair is fair.

Life is Not Fair. Get Over It! You do what You can to help Your Kids.

 

[GHook93]

As long as abortion is legal, I think men should be able to "opt out" of being a father after conception. Fair is fair.

I am not so sure I agree with that. Trust me, if I get divorced I will hate cutting the child support checks, but I think its right to force fathers to do it.

Regardless of how the child was conceived. It could have been a one night stand in the bathroom at Denny's, the child is still conceived and CAN NOT support him/herself. It's the responsibility of both the mother and father.

 

[Againsheila]

As long as abortion is legal, I think men should be able to "opt out" of being a father after conception. Fair is fair.

I am not so sure I agree with that. Trust me, if I get divorced I will hate cutting the child support checks, but I think its right to force fathers to do it.

Regardless of how the child was conceived. It could have been a one night stand in the baseroom at Denny's, the child is still conceived and CAN NOT support him/herself. It's the responsibility of both the mother and father.

I don't think they should get to "opt out" after the child is born, only during the time that it is legal for the woman to have an abortion.

 

[GHook93]

As long as abortion is legal, I think men should be able to "opt out" of being a father after conception. Fair is fair.

I am not so sure I agree with that. Trust me, if I get divorced I will hate cutting the child support checks, but I think its right to force fathers to do it.

Regardless of how the child was conceived. It could have been a one night stand in the baseroom at Denny's, the child is still conceived and CAN NOT support him/herself. It's the responsibility of both the mother and father.

I don't think they should get to "opt out" after the child is born, only during the time that it is legal for the woman to have an abortion.

There is an opt out somewhat! If the father signs over all rights to the kid and the mother accepts.

 

[Againsheila]

I am not so sure I agree with that. Trust me, if I get divorced I will hate cutting the child support checks, but I think its right to force fathers to do it.

Regardless of how the child was conceived. It could have been a one night stand in the baseroom at Denny's, the child is still conceived and CAN NOT support him/herself. It's the responsibility of both the mother and father.

I don't think they should get to "opt out" after the child is born, only during the time that it is legal for the woman to have an abortion.

There is an opt out somewhat! If the father signs over all rights to the kid and the mother accepts.

Like I said, all decisions are left up to the mother...the father just gets the bill. In an enlightened society, that's just plain stupid.

 

[Zona]

i disagree....a man goes on having children..then he is expected to support them

i think you missed the entire point of this.

Child support has to be based on his income....not how much he USED to make.

 

[GHook93]

i disagree....a man goes on having children..then he is expected to support them

i think you missed the entire point of this.

Child support has to be based on his income....not how much he USED to make.

True, but it is the liberal perspective to take more!