Will We See Serial Killers in Heaven?

[AVG-JOE]

We will NOT see "Special K" in heaven.

Cap'n Crunch is in dire peril, too.

Hell looms.

That's what happens when there's [MENTION=36528]cereal_killer[/MENTION] on the loose!

`​

 

[The Irish Ram]

We will NOT see "Special K" in heaven.

Cap'n Crunch is in dire peril, too.

Hell looms.

My fear is for devil's food cake. Angel food cake is nice, but........

 

[JohnA]

Will we have taste buds in heaven?

IF we drink in Heaven, will we get buzzed?

Is there any reason to want to get buzzed in Heaven?

Well, I believe it was Ben Franklin who said that beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to enjoy life. I personally, think that beer is proof that cows can piss in bottles.

Jesus didn't turn the water into beer. He turned the water into wine. Think about it.

I prefer Scotch.

Will there be good quality Scotch in heaven?

of course scotch is a spirit aint it ???

 

[Politico]

IF we drink in Heaven, will we get buzzed?

I hope not. That would be a FWI. Flying while intoxicated.

 

[ABikerSailor]

May be we will catch a glimpse of monsters in Heaven.... we will be on one side, they will be far away,like behind a fence, in a darker place suffering and learning their lessons .... and we will be able to do nothing about it.... knowing they are paying for what they did.

If I get there and see some of the posters on here, I may rethink where I want to spend eternity!

Several things here................................

Number one, you have a beginning (birth) so you can't be eternal. Eternity has no beginning (birth) and no end.

BTW...............if God is going to punish you for eternity (meaning before you were born, and after you die), then what is the point of this life?

The most He will do is punish you forever (from the time you were born), but, seeing as how He's a Loving God, wouldn't he try to redeem you?

Therefore, you can't be in suffering for eternity.

Besides..................the recently discovered Lost Gospel of Thomas says that eventually everyone gets out of hell.

And besides.................did anyone ever consider that the "monsters on the other side of the fence" may be able to teach you something useful?

The world would be much better if we all would learn from each other rather than trying to tell others where they fall short and your particular belief system is the best.

 

[BillyV]

What strikes me funny about this thread is that all of the posters have taken the OP at face value and tried to justify (or not) the inclusion of serial killers in heaven without (apparently) going to the link provided in the OP. The linked material is in the “Landover Baptist Church Forum”, a fictional church in “Freehold, Iowa” which was created as a parody; an “Onion” for (about) Christians. In addition to the musing about “Brother Jeffrey” Dahmer’s eternal future, there is also advice on “Dressing for the Rapture” (I know that I myself will be wearing my alluring black leather jacket with matching handcuffs. Not only is it very flattering on me (if I may say so), but I can cuff myself to Christ for added security as we ascend rapidly to heaven!), Manly Jokes (Q: What do you say to a woman with two black-eyes? A: Nothing - you already told her twice!...), and even tithing reminders (DON'T JEW JESUS!).

I would have thought any “True Christian™” would have been able to spot it. The entire site is dedicated to making fun of fundamentalist Christians.

 

[Avatar4321]

May be we will catch a glimpse of monsters in Heaven.... we will be on one side, they will be far away,like behind a fence, in a darker place suffering and learning their lessons .... and we will be able to do nothing about it.... knowing they are paying for what they did.

If I get there and see some of the posters on here, I may rethink where I want to spend eternity!

Several things here................................

Number one, you have a beginning (birth) so you can't be eternal. Eternity has no beginning (birth) and no end.

BTW...............if God is going to punish you for eternity (meaning before you were born, and after you die), then what is the point of this life?

The most He will do is punish you forever (from the time you were born), but, seeing as how He's a Loving God, wouldn't he try to redeem you?

Therefore, you can't be in suffering for eternity.

Besides..................the recently discovered Lost Gospel of Thomas says that eventually everyone gets out of hell.

And besides.................did anyone ever consider that the "monsters on the other side of the fence" may be able to teach you something useful?

The world would be much better if we all would learn from each other rather than trying to tell others where they fall short and your particular belief system is the best.

We existed before we were born. We are Eternal beings. "Who sinned that this man was born blind, the man or his parents?" It's a question that presupposes the possibility of us sinning before we are born.

We are the children of God. His sons and daughters. We jumped for joy at the moment of creation as Job pointed out. We participated in the Creation of this world. We were present in the Grand Council where Our Father presented His plan for this world.

You don't yet understand the mystery of Eternal Punishment. But hopefully you will someday.

 

[Avatar4321]

What strikes me funny about this thread is that all of the posters have taken the OP at face value and tried to justify (or not) the inclusion of serial killers in heaven without (apparently) going to the link provided in the OP. The linked material is in the “Landover Baptist Church Forum”, a fictional church in “Freehold, Iowa” which was created as a parody; an “Onion” for (about) Christians. In addition to the musing about “Brother Jeffrey” Dahmer’s eternal future, there is also advice on “Dressing for the Rapture” (I know that I myself will be wearing my alluring black leather jacket with matching handcuffs. Not only is it very flattering on me (if I may say so), but I can cuff myself to Christ for added security as we ascend rapidly to heaven!), Manly Jokes (Q: What do you say to a woman with two black-eyes? A: Nothing - you already told her twice!...), and even tithing reminders (DON'T JEW JESUS!).

I would have thought any “True Christian™” would have been able to spot it. The entire site is dedicated to making fun of fundamentalist Christians.

The question was sincere despite the link. The link is quite irrelevant in fact, to the question at hand.

 

[BillyV]

What strikes me funny about this thread is that all of the posters have taken the OP at face value and tried to justify (or not) the inclusion of serial killers in heaven without (apparently) going to the link provided in the OP. The linked material is in the “Landover Baptist Church Forum”, a fictional church in “Freehold, Iowa” which was created as a parody; an “Onion” for (about) Christians. In addition to the musing about “Brother Jeffrey” Dahmer’s eternal future, there is also advice on “Dressing for the Rapture” (I know that I myself will be wearing my alluring black leather jacket with matching handcuffs. Not only is it very flattering on me (if I may say so), but I can cuff myself to Christ for added security as we ascend rapidly to heaven!), Manly Jokes (Q: What do you say to a woman with two black-eyes? A: Nothing - you already told her twice!...), and even tithing reminders (DON'T JEW JESUS!).

I would have thought any “True Christian™” would have been able to spot it. The entire site is dedicated to making fun of fundamentalist Christians.

The question was sincere despite the link. The link is quite irrelevant in fact, to the question at hand.

I disagree. I believe the point of the OP was to present the website as a way to ridicule Christian fundamentalists, and to introduce a platform where those beliefs are ridiculed. Your treatment of the question as “sincere” belies the message of both the OP and the link. While the question may have some validity, if someone wanted to start a “sincere” thread with a similar message or question, they would not have delivered it in such an insincere way. The irony of some treating it as sincere is what strikes me as humorous.

 

[Sunshine]

What strikes me funny about this thread is that all of the posters have taken the OP at face value and tried to justify (or not) the inclusion of serial killers in heaven without (apparently) going to the link provided in the OP. The linked material is in the “Landover Baptist Church Forum”, a fictional church in “Freehold, Iowa” which was created as a parody; an “Onion” for (about) Christians. In addition to the musing about “Brother Jeffrey” Dahmer’s eternal future, there is also advice on “Dressing for the Rapture” (I know that I myself will be wearing my alluring black leather jacket with matching handcuffs. Not only is it very flattering on me (if I may say so), but I can cuff myself to Christ for added security as we ascend rapidly to heaven!), Manly Jokes (Q: What do you say to a woman with two black-eyes? A: Nothing - you already told her twice!...), and even tithing reminders (DON'T JEW JESUS!).

I would have thought any “True Christian™” would have been able to spot it. The entire site is dedicated to making fun of fundamentalist Christians.

The question was sincere despite the link. The link is quite irrelevant in fact, to the question at hand.

I disagree. I believe the point of the OP was to present the website as a way to ridicule Christian fundamentalists, and to introduce a platform where those beliefs are ridiculed. Your treatment of the question as “sincere” belies the message of both the OP and the link. While the question may have some validity, if someone wanted to start a “sincere” thread with a similar message or question, they would not have delivered it in such an insincere way. The irony of some treating it as sincere is what strikes me as humorous.

You are correct. The 'scribes and the Pharisees' are still around and they walk and post among us.

 

[Sunshine]

May be we will catch a glimpse of monsters in Heaven.... we will be on one side, they will be far away,like behind a fence, in a darker place suffering and learning their lessons .... and we will be able to do nothing about it.... knowing they are paying for what they did.

If I get there and see some of the posters on here, I may rethink where I want to spend eternity!

Several things here................................

Number one, you have a beginning (birth) so you can't be eternal. Eternity has no beginning (birth) and no end.

BTW...............if God is going to punish you for eternity (meaning before you were born, and after you die), then what is the point of this life?

The most He will do is punish you forever (from the time you were born), but, seeing as how He's a Loving God, wouldn't he try to redeem you?

Therefore, you can't be in suffering for eternity.

Besides..................the recently discovered Lost Gospel of Thomas says that eventually everyone gets out of hell.

And besides.................did anyone ever consider that the "monsters on the other side of the fence" may be able to teach you something useful?

The world would be much better if we all would learn from each other rather than trying to tell others where they fall short and your particular belief system is the best.

What is the point of life? Life is a vacation from death. Criminy! Even a moron like you should have figured that out.

 

[AVG-JOE]

What strikes me funny about this thread is that all of the posters have taken the OP at face value and tried to justify (or not) the inclusion of serial killers in heaven without (apparently) going to the link provided in the OP. The linked material is in the “Landover Baptist Church Forum”, a fictional church in “Freehold, Iowa” which was created as a parody; an “Onion” for (about) Christians. In addition to the musing about “Brother Jeffrey” Dahmer’s eternal future, there is also advice on “Dressing for the Rapture” (I know that I myself will be wearing my alluring black leather jacket with matching handcuffs. Not only is it very flattering on me (if I may say so), but I can cuff myself to Christ for added security as we ascend rapidly to heaven!), Manly Jokes (Q: What do you say to a woman with two black-eyes? A: Nothing - you already told her twice!...), and even tithing reminders (DON'T JEW JESUS!).

I would have thought any “True Christian™” would have been able to spot it. The entire site is dedicated to making fun of fundamentalist Christians.

The question was sincere despite the link. The link is quite irrelevant in fact, to the question at hand.

I disagree. I believe the point of the OP was to present the website as a way to ridicule Christian fundamentalists, and to introduce a platform where those beliefs are ridiculed. Your treatment of the question as “sincere” belies the message of both the OP and the link. While the question may have some validity, if someone wanted to start a “sincere” thread with a similar message or question, they would not have delivered it in such an insincere way. The irony of some treating it as sincere is what strikes me as humorous.

Nope.

Sorry to disappoint.

The O/P was to generate a discussion on judgement.


Mission Accomplished.

 

[BillyV]

The question was sincere despite the link. The link is quite irrelevant in fact, to the question at hand.

I disagree. I believe the point of the OP was to present the website as a way to ridicule Christian fundamentalists, and to introduce a platform where those beliefs are ridiculed. Your treatment of the question as “sincere” belies the message of both the OP and the link. While the question may have some validity, if someone wanted to start a “sincere” thread with a similar message or question, they would not have delivered it in such an insincere way. The irony of some treating it as sincere is what strikes me as humorous.

Nope.

Sorry to disappoint.

The O/P was to generate a discussion on judgement.


Mission Accomplished.

If that is indeed the case, one would be less likely to question your motives if you had posted a link which more positively described the Christian faith and its precepts as it might relate to a Dahmer redemption, such as the following:

Jeff was judged not by his faith, but by his crimes… They didn’t want to think of Jeff as a brother. Such ungraciousness is contrary to the Christian spirit.
Was Jeff saved? Were his sins taken away? Is he a Christian believer? Did he repent of his sins? Or was the blood of Christ shed on the cross somehow too weak, too thin, too anemic to cover his sins? Did Jeff mean it when he said, “I’m so sorry for what I’ve done. God help me, I’ll never do that again”?

Serial Killer Jeffrey Dahmer and Christian Conversion, Jeffrey Dahmer and Forgiveness - Beliefnet.com

 

[AVG-JOE]

It's common knowledge that Dahmer got 'born again' in a jailhouse conversion preceding death.

The headline on the link is more than enough to foment discussion based on the questions posed.

Thanks by the way, for the handy link to an alternate article that you prefer.


I hereby forgive all participants who've posted in the discussion without reading the article in the O/P.
I also absolve all future readers and posters from the responsibility of reading the article prior to participating, ass-u-me-ing they've read this post before hand.

Did I miss anything?​

 

[koshergrl]

Did anyone ask for your forgiveness?

 

[AVG-JOE]

Like... ever?

 

[The Irish Ram]

This thread is an excellent platform for revealing the truth. God isn't into punishing us either in eternity past, present or future. If that was the case, he would have just skipped the life on earth segment.

He is love. And even though He has an adversary that does his best to destroy us, God, is going to end Satan's reign in the fullness of His time, not ours. In the meantime, our Father has given us every thing we need to resist temptation and put Satan behind us until the Day of the Lord.
And the Bible does say forever.


You have a choice, if you don't want to end up with Satan, then go with God.......

 

[BreezeWood]

Serial Killer Jeffrey Dahmer and Christian Conversion, Jeffrey Dahmer and Forgiveness - Beliefnet.com

... I’ll never do that again”

... I’ll never do that again”


down deep, Dahmer new ...

was he really thinking of those he killed -


is it "possible" to know what may have been for the lives that were taken ?

“Yes, I admit I’ve thought of suicide. But when I thought I should take my life, I just couldn’t do it,” he confessed. "My main concern is that I do the right thing,“ he replied.


After that, how could I question Jeff’s sincerity? Jeff wanted to please God. He knew he had done terrible things, and he needed me to tell him that his life mattered regardless. I could relate to how he felt. I understood his heart.

"My main concern is that I do the right thing,“ he replied.


to bad for him for not Knowing ....

 

[IlarMeilyr]

Speaking of which:

I hate it when people say that the DEATH PENALTY isn't a "deterrent."

OF COURSE it is.

Once some shit stain gets executed, he immediately ceases all acts of violence.

100% perfect record.

 

[ABikerSailor]

Speaking of which:

I hate it when people say that the DEATH PENALTY isn't a "deterrent."

OF COURSE it is.

Once some shit stain gets executed, he immediately ceases all acts of violence.

100% perfect record.

What about the innocent people who have been released from death row because DNA testing has exonerated them and proven them to be innocent? And, since DNA testing is relatively new, whose to say that innocent people weren't killed prior to it?

Is it right for the state to kill innocent people?