Women should dress modestly or expect to 'entice a rapist...'

[Asclepias]

It appears to me that the title of the thread and the information in the OP are not in sync. The title is correct in some cases while the information in the OP is a display of ignorance.

 

[Asclepias]

I don't think sexy clothes causes men to rape women.
I DO think sexy clothes will increase the likelihood of male attention, and thus, increase odds of possible unwanted attention - you would really have to look at a study/statistics to see, but, I think it's more a matter of the position you put yourself in (area, character of people etc.)

There is no way you can prevent being raped unless you are in solitary confinement - but I think there are things you can do to DECREASE your odds......

The only way you can decrease your odds is be a mind reader. What behavior, clothing, physical feature, etc etc will set off the rapist and have them pick you for a target?

 

[Bonzi]

I found this to be interesting.... I think everyone in this thread would find it to be also....

Why do rapists rape? For power or sex? Let’s ask a rapist!

1. Muchoki, S.M. and S. Wandibba, An Interplay of Individual Motivations and Sociocultural Factors Predisposing Men to Acts of Rape in Kenya. International Journal of Sexual Health, 2009.

 

[Ravi]

I don't think sexy clothes causes men to rape women.
I DO think sexy clothes will increase the likelihood of male attention, and thus, increase odds of possible unwanted attention - you would really have to look at a study/statistics to see, but, I think it's more a matter of the position you put yourself in (area, character of people etc.)

There is no way you can prevent being raped unless you are in solitary confinement - but I think there are things you can do to DECREASE your odds......

Even in solitary you would have to worry about the prison guards.

 

[Asclepias]

I found this to be interesting.... I think everyone in this thread would find it to be also....

Why do rapists rape? For power or sex? Let’s ask a rapist!

1. Muchoki, S.M. and S. Wandibba, An Interplay of Individual Motivations and Sociocultural Factors Predisposing Men to Acts of Rape in Kenya. International Journal of Sexual Health, 2009.

I'm confused as to what made the the author not recognize that all those reasons are about power and control over women no matter what the rapist wants to call it? People will make up every rationale to explain their behavior away and very few have the insight to look at their behavior for what it is. Normal people dont just say "I want to have sex so the next person I see will be forced to have sex with me" and it not be about power and control.

 

[Bonzi]

I found this to be interesting.... I think everyone in this thread would find it to be also....

Why do rapists rape? For power or sex? Let’s ask a rapist!

1. Muchoki, S.M. and S. Wandibba, An Interplay of Individual Motivations and Sociocultural Factors Predisposing Men to Acts of Rape in Kenya. International Journal of Sexual Health, 2009.

I'm confused as to what made the the author not recognize that all those reasons are about power and control over women no matter what the rapist wants to call it? People will make up every rationale to explain their behavior away and very few have the insight to look at their behavior for what it is. Normal people dont just say "I want to have sex so the next person I see will be forced to have sex with me" and it not be about power and control.

That's something that can be argued to the "nth" degree.
I think ultimately it IS about "having your way". Men are more aggressive, and, we all know alcohol can case you to do things you wouldn't ordinarily do.... so there are so many variations and variables.

In MOST cases, I agree with you. It's about anger, control, frustration or just a unnatural "lust"...

I think MOST men will not rape someone just because they are horny.
There has to be a "something else" going on in their brain, and, likely a mental illness of some sort.

 

[Bonzi]

Let's go to the OP topic....

Women should dress modestly or expect to 'entice a rapist...'

Overall, I disagree with this statement.
I don't think you will necessarily "entice a rapist" and modest dress is a matter of opinion.
Different things entice rapists.

I would say the following would be more correct:

Women should dress modestly to reduce their chances of unwanted sexual advances.

Is that fair/accurate?

 

[Ravi]

Let's go to the OP topic....

Women should dress modestly or expect to 'entice a rapist...'

Overall, I disagree with this statement.
I don't think you will necessarily "entice a rapist" and modest dress is a matter of opinion.
Different things entice rapists.

I would say the following would be more correct:

Women should dress modestly to reduce their chances of unwanted sexual advances.

Is that fair/accurate?

Women should weigh 300 lbs, walk around with bags over their heads, and never shower or wear clean clothes, to reduce their chances of unwanted sexual advances.

 

[Asclepias]

Let's go to the OP topic....

Women should dress modestly or expect to 'entice a rapist...'

Overall, I disagree with this statement.
I don't think you will necessarily "entice a rapist" and modest dress is a matter of opinion.
Different things entice rapists.

I would say the following would be more correct:

Women should dress modestly to reduce their chances of unwanted sexual advances.

Is that fair/accurate?

Even that statement is not really correct. Your modest may not be the same as my modest or the modest of a rapist. If I were to make a statement it would be more like.

Women should be aware anything can trigger a rapist.

Like really. Who the hell knows exactly what will set a rapist off? Is wearing a bikini to the beach dressing "not modest". How do you define that for everyone?

 

[Bonzi]

Let's go to the OP topic....

Women should dress modestly or expect to 'entice a rapist...'

Overall, I disagree with this statement.
I don't think you will necessarily "entice a rapist" and modest dress is a matter of opinion.
Different things entice rapists.

I would say the following would be more correct:

Women should dress modestly to reduce their chances of unwanted sexual advances.

Is that fair/accurate?

Women should weigh 300 lbs, walk around with bags over their heads, and never shower or wear clean clothes, to reduce their chances of unwanted sexual advances.

I used to live about 5 miles from SE Washington DC. (not a good area...)
I wore whatever I wanted.... short shorts, mid-drifts (I wore mid-drift tops to school in the middle of winter, and, even had teach call my mom "complaining" about it....)
I never had someone force themselves on me and was never sexually attacked in any way/shape or form.

Why? Luck? God? ... who knows.....

So, it's probably not dress or looks. It might just be bad luck...........

 

[Ame®icano]

Why do you think men rape drunk women? Is it because they look so sexy all drunk and slobbering all over themselves? NO! It is because they are an EASY target. They aren't going to be putting up much of a fight.

Is that reason why women are getting drunk?

 

[Vandalshandle]

You know, in my younger years, i spent my share of time in strip clubs, in parked cars with my dates, even a nude beach. The sight of a nude, or semi-nude woman never motivated me to even THINK of rape. I did think of getting laid, but raping someone never occurred to me in my entire life. Yet, there are men here who think that erotica could motivate men to rape. This way of thinking is so foreign to me that I am blown away by it. Quite frankly, it tells me a whole lot about the men who hold that position. I hope to god that none of you know my daughter.

 

[Mac1958]

No it isn't. You just won't be honest.
.

Yes . . . it is. And if not, then what is your point?

I'll try to make this as clear and parsed as I can so that you can't distort it.

If a woman wears clothing that might be considered sexy or provocative by some guy, any guy, the chances of something happening that she doesn't want have increased by some measure, even if it's 0.1%. "Something that she doesn't want" could be some slob coming on too strong, some sick asshole thinking "she's asking for it", you name it. Or it could lead to a sexual encounter that is perceived by the man as consensual but NOT considered consensual by the woman. Which, as any honest person will admit, does happen.

It would therefore be in the woman's best interests to simply consider that fact when deciding what she's going to wear, where she is going to go, and with whom she is going to go. No, it shouldn't be that way, it's a goddamn shame, but it's better to deal with reality than to see the worst happen. It only needs to happen once.

If that isn't clear enough for you, there's nothing else I can do.
.

And I will try to make THIS as clear as possible for you. It does NOT matter what you are wearing. Rapists are looking for a victim and rape is a crime of opportunity. Rapists are SICK people. Some of them ARE actually turned on by a more conservative appearing woman, and THAT is why conservatively dressed women are ALSO raped.

So you read all that and assumed I was only talking about "rapists".

Okay, never mind. Somehow I knew I was wasting my time.
.

That is what we are discussing. Rape. And again, you are wrong. You might as well tell women to stop all social interaction with men because one of them might decide to rape her.

Yep, there's that absolutism that I referred to more than once, the one that regularly renders communication useless.
.

 

[Bonzi]

You know, in my younger years, i spent my share of time in strip clubs, in parked cars with my dates, even a nude beach. The sight of a nude, or semi-nude woman never motivated me to even THINK of rape. I did think of getting laid, but raping someone never occurred to me in my entire life. Yet, there are men here who think that erotica could motivate men to rape. This way of thinking is so foreign to me that I am blown away by it. Quite frankly, it tells me a whole lot about the men who hold that position. I hope to god that none of you know my daughter.

My husband is like this.

He does not understand why people would even want to go to a strip club. (the women are there as a job, with interest in all men and mostly the ones that can pay them....)

I think most men want to be desired - a rapist does not care if the victim desires him (obviously...)

Like you said, totally different mindset.

 

[Asclepias]

You know, in my younger years, i spent my share of time in strip clubs, in parked cars with my dates, even a nude beach. The sight of a nude, or semi-nude woman never motivated me to even THINK of rape. I did think of getting laid, but raping someone never occurred to me in my entire life. Yet, there are men here who think that erotica could motivate men to rape. This way of thinking is so foreign to me that I am blown away by it. Quite frankly, it tells me a whole lot about the men who hold that position. I hope to god that none of you know my daughter.

Exactly. I remember as a teenager I was over this girls house and she literally asked me to have sex with her but she was shaking like a leaf in the wind. I told her we didnt have to do anything even though my sex drive was saying something different. To me its a big gigantic turnoff if a woman is not ready.

 

[featherlite]

My only point was there are no excuses for rape. ever! I included some who might be considered easy targets. A 14 yr old attention seeking duck face on tumblr, a woman who is a walking train wreck, a woman who walks alone at night, a stripper never deserves rape...or any kind of abuse for that matter.

That being said...females are responsible for what they do. It used to be men held all the cards so to speak...I can do what I want...blame the female.
thats flipped. thank goodness...but now its Im a proud biotch..you cant git me.

Im sure some of these date rape cases were probably a 2 way street. It doesnt ever justify the end crime...but still.
On social media I saw someone once post a pic of herself wearing a t shirt and then proudly announced she was wearing no underwear ( to about 2000 people.) Some guy hit on her in private, she went on to expose the whole convo and embarrassed the hell out of him. Then lol she went on a diatribe about slut shaming and womens rights.
Im sorry people like that need counseling, not a platform for social justice.

 

[aris2chat]

The sad thing is that you will teach people that a woman can prevent rape by modifying her appearance while history shows that that is not the case.

He has not said that attire will "prevent" rape, that is just your warped interpretation.
What he and others have been saying, is that dressing provocatively can draw the kind of attention you may not want. Not guaranteed to get attention, but it can.

WHY IS THIS SO FUCKING HARD FOR YOU GUYS ?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is something about this topic that invites people to abandon common sense and the simple application of caution they would recognition in any other context. And only in the instance of rape prevention have some laughably claimed that taking precautions is 'excusing' lawbreakers.

Oddly, no one insists you're 'excusing burglars' if you lock your doors at night. Or 'excusing muggers' if you look over your shoulder in a dark alley.

They have to know at some level. It's fascinating to observe, but you can't communicate with people who refuse to be honest.

I said this in post 333: "There is rape -- which, as I understand it, is essentially as it is portrayed by those here who are against what Hynde said -- and then there is the relatively long list of bad stuff that can happen when a guy gets too drunk and excited and horny -- some of which, by the way, could be construed as rape by some."

These people are choosing to remain locked in this binary argument: There is only one kind of rape, there is only one kind of rapist, rape only happens for one reason, there is only one environment in which an act can be interpreted as rape, rape only has one meaning every time. They leave no room for gray area or interpretation, which is precisely what would be needed in the real world if a young lady brought a rape charge. They are being absolutely absolutist. It's like trying to discuss taxes with a Tea Partier.

It amazes me, how similar the two ends are. I don't know how to deal with absolutists.

They have to know better, they're doing this on purpose, they're not being honest. Par for the course for the PC Police.
.

No, what people are trying to explain to you is that it does not matter WHAT THE HECK you are wearing. You will STILL get raped if there is a rapist in the room who decides he wants to rape you. It could be your hair color, your perfume, that you remind him of someone, etc., etc., etc.

So, women should no longer wear sexy clothes because we should fear that this would cause us to be raped??? That's ridiculous.

Ok, there's a rapist in the room. You're wearing a very short skirt and sheer blouse that exposes a very sexy bra. You act flirty and are drinking.
There's another woman in the room with very conservative attire and is speaking and acting in a very conservative and modest fashion.

Both leave the room and go their separate ways.

Who is the rapist more likely to follow ?

Could be either, which one is the easier prey, which one is vulnerable, which one will or wont fight, which one has a particular hair color, which one had more to drink............

You think people in Alaska in winter never get raped? Norway has a lower crime rate but there is still crime and women still get raped. You really expect they were walking around in the bare nothings? You think someone can't be followed to their home and when they open the door the rapist pushes inside and rapes them? Even mongolia might have a rate of less than 20 per 100K but it still happens.
Most rape never gets reported. Numbers could well be double that what the governments records record.

Why does a child or baby get molested or raped? Was it what they wear? Something they did to trigger some mental switch inside the rapist? Were they "asking for it"? If the rapist in in the home or a family friend, was there something they could have done to prevent the rapists attack?
If a wife is raped, what did she do to trigger the anger and abuse? Should every man on the face of the earth be viewed a potential rapists? Maybe men should live on their own male island and only see women once or twice a year.
In jail, why are prisoners raped? Were they running around biker bars wearing next to nothing inviting the attack?

Don't make excuses for the rapist and blame the victim. That is just wrong on every level. Wrong.

Why are some people bi-polar? Why do some have diabetes as a child? Why are some hemophiliacs? Why do some people have different color eyes? Why does a rapist rape?

Being afraid of being raped by every man, is a bit like not living your life because every man might be a terrorist. You can't stop your life or live in fear. Not all people out there are bad. Not all men would hurt a woman.

It is not something the victim did or did not do, but the blame is on the rapist. Stop making excuses for the abuse, even of well sauced couples on a date. If a woman directs you to touch and tells you exactly what and where, etc., and keep saying yes with each step, she is giving you permission. If she does not say or says no at any point, step back, stop. It does not matter if you are about to climax, if she say no or stop, stop. You have been uninvited. Anything past that point is rape.

If she is unable to speak and does not full enjoy your attention and participating, you shouldn't be taking advantage of her. You should have left her at her door and said good night.

Don't make excuses for rape. Doctors, psychiatrists and police try to learn what happens in the mind of a rapist. Understanding is not permission for the crime. Women could carry a whistle and pepper spray and learn to protect themselves, but even strong able woman can be raped. Does not matter if she is a marine or a topless dancer.

Don't blame the victim of rape.

 

[aris2chat]

There is something about this topic that invites people to abandon common sense and the simple application of caution they would recognition in any other context. And only in the instance of rape prevention have some laughably claimed that taking precautions is 'excusing' lawbreakers.

Oddly, no one insists you're 'excusing burglars' if you lock your doors at night. Or 'excusing muggers' if you look over your shoulder in a dark alley.

They have to know at some level. It's fascinating to observe, but you can't communicate with people who refuse to be honest.

I said this in post 333: "There is rape -- which, as I understand it, is essentially as it is portrayed by those here who are against what Hynde said -- and then there is the relatively long list of bad stuff that can happen when a guy gets too drunk and excited and horny -- some of which, by the way, could be construed as rape by some."

These people are choosing to remain locked in this binary argument: There is only one kind of rape, there is only one kind of rapist, rape only happens for one reason, there is only one environment in which an act can be interpreted as rape, rape only has one meaning every time. They leave no room for gray area or interpretation, which is precisely what would be needed in the real world if a young lady brought a rape charge. They are being absolutely absolutist. It's like trying to discuss taxes with a Tea Partier.

It amazes me, how similar the two ends are. I don't know how to deal with absolutists.

They have to know better, they're doing this on purpose, they're not being honest. Par for the course for the PC Police.
.

No, what people are trying to explain to you is that it does not matter WHAT THE HECK you are wearing. You will STILL get raped if there is a rapist in the room who decides he wants to rape you. It could be your hair color, your perfume, that you remind him of someone, etc., etc., etc.

So, women should no longer wear sexy clothes because we should fear that this would cause us to be raped??? That's ridiculous.

Ok, there's a rapist in the room. You're wearing a very short skirt and sheer blouse that exposes a very sexy bra. You act flirty and are drinking.
There's another woman in the room with very conservative attire and is speaking and acting in a very conservative and modest fashion.

Both leave the room and go their separate ways.

Who is the rapist more likely to follow ?

A rapist would sometimes probably AVOID the loud-mouthed drunk girl who is making a scene. The quiet demure shy woman might be the bigger turn on for HIM. Rape is USUALLY a crime of opportunity. They really are NOT that choosy in most instances. They are seeking out a VICTIM.

The provocatively dressed woman will get more attention from someone seeking sexual gratification.

Maybe she is just hot after all it is summer

You see sex in a picture? Shame

 

[aris2chat]

You can be sexy and attractive in different ways.
Some project an image of class, some, not so much.....

or
View attachment 48967

Does either one have a giant tattoo that says "rape me"?

 

[DigitalDrifter]

They have to know at some level. It's fascinating to observe, but you can't communicate with people who refuse to be honest.

I said this in post 333: "There is rape -- which, as I understand it, is essentially as it is portrayed by those here who are against what Hynde said -- and then there is the relatively long list of bad stuff that can happen when a guy gets too drunk and excited and horny -- some of which, by the way, could be construed as rape by some."

These people are choosing to remain locked in this binary argument: There is only one kind of rape, there is only one kind of rapist, rape only happens for one reason, there is only one environment in which an act can be interpreted as rape, rape only has one meaning every time. They leave no room for gray area or interpretation, which is precisely what would be needed in the real world if a young lady brought a rape charge. They are being absolutely absolutist. It's like trying to discuss taxes with a Tea Partier.

It amazes me, how similar the two ends are. I don't know how to deal with absolutists.

They have to know better, they're doing this on purpose, they're not being honest. Par for the course for the PC Police.
.

No, what people are trying to explain to you is that it does not matter WHAT THE HECK you are wearing. You will STILL get raped if there is a rapist in the room who decides he wants to rape you. It could be your hair color, your perfume, that you remind him of someone, etc., etc., etc.

So, women should no longer wear sexy clothes because we should fear that this would cause us to be raped??? That's ridiculous.

Ok, there's a rapist in the room. You're wearing a very short skirt and sheer blouse that exposes a very sexy bra. You act flirty and are drinking.
There's another woman in the room with very conservative attire and is speaking and acting in a very conservative and modest fashion.

Both leave the room and go their separate ways.

Who is the rapist more likely to follow ?

A rapist would sometimes probably AVOID the loud-mouthed drunk girl who is making a scene. The quiet demure shy woman might be the bigger turn on for HIM. Rape is USUALLY a crime of opportunity. They really are NOT that choosy in most instances. They are seeking out a VICTIM.

The provocatively dressed woman will get more attention from someone seeking sexual gratification.

Rape is not about sexual gratification. Its about power.

Here we go again, the standard feminist narrative that all rape has the same root cause. You guys are closed minded, and a broken record.